Query failed: connection to localhost:9312 failed (errno=111, msg=Connection refused). Friday humour - Off Topic Discussions on The Fretboard
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UNPLANNED DOWNTIME: 12th Oct 23:45

Friday humour

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  • equalsqlequalsql Frets: 5849
    (pronounced: equal-sequel)   "I suffered for my art.. now it's your turn"
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  • StratavariousStratavarious Frets: 3112
    Why did the bacon laugh?

    ….. Because the egg cracked a yolk! 
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30022
    edited October 2023
    Why did the bacon laugh?

    ….. Because the egg cracked a yolk! 

    In keeping with the recent pedantry of this thread, strictly speaking only the egg's shell can crack, so unfortunately, your joke makes no sense.
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  • kaypeejaykaypeejay Frets: 751
    Kilgore said:
    munckee said:
    Tannin said:
    ^ His name was Alfred Nobel. His invention made him very rich and he bequeathed his fortune to the betterment of humankind. It is his vision and his money which created and still pays for the Nobel Prize.

    If you go to Stockholm you can visit his grave. Yes, there is only one of it, and he died after a stroke.




    Way to suck the fun out of that one! 
    Bang on.
    Boom Boom!
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 27656
    Aaarrgghhhh! The bloody Nobel thing is back!
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  • ESBlondeESBlonde Frets: 3532
    guyinlyon said:
    Tannin said:
    ^ His name was Alfred Nobel. His invention made him very rich and he bequeathed his fortune to the betterment of humankind. It is his vision and his money which created and still pays for the Nobel Prize.


    Alfred Nobel founded the Nobel Prizes to assuage his feelings of guilt at having invented many explosives and gun powders that wound up being sold to armies all over the world. 
    Actually a newspaper accidentally printed his obituary and he was horrified by the comments. He decided to go down in history as a decent guy and set up the Nobel prize trust.
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  • KilgoreKilgore Frets: 8107
    guyinlyon said:
    Tannin said:
    ^ His name was Alfred Nobel. His invention made him very rich and he bequeathed his fortune to the betterment of humankind. It is his vision and his money which created and still pays for the Nobel Prize.


    Alfred Nobel founded the Nobel Prizes to assuage his feelings of guilt at having invented many explosives and gun powders that wound up being sold to Wile E. Coyote.
    FTFY
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  • swillerswiller Frets: 662
    edited October 2023
    One of best ive heard. Only a minute..

    Dont worry, be silly.
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    Not sure I would be posting videos from a child rapist...  funny or not.
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • equalsqlequalsql Frets: 5849
    C'mon folks let's get this thread back on track.

    (pronounced: equal-sequel)   "I suffered for my art.. now it's your turn"
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  • swillerswiller Frets: 662
    Emp_Fab said:
    Not sure I would be posting videos from a child rapist...  funny or not.
    well let me know via PM when you have made up your mind.
    Dont worry, be silly.
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  • nero1701nero1701 Frets: 770
    Emp_Fab said:
    Not sure I would be posting videos from a child rapist...  funny or not.
    Make your mind up ffs!
    My Trading Feedback

    "If it smells like shit...It is probably shit"
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    Eh?  Obviously I'm missing the joke.... but...  no. I wouldn't post a video etc etc...
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • BrioBrio Frets: 1499
    I think the ‘joke’ is you saying you’re not sure if you’d post the video, when in fact you are sure you wouldn’t.
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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7202
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  • rogdrogd Frets: 1430
    May be an image of 2 people animal and text that says llove animals I work with animals Ah Are u a vet NoImabutcher Im a butcher
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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7202
    https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyQfU6NoGOH/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
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  • equalsqlequalsql Frets: 5849
    Yorkshire Airlines :grin: 
    (pronounced: equal-sequel)   "I suffered for my art.. now it's your turn"
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  • swillerswiller Frets: 662
    Emp_Fab said:
    Eh?  Obviously I'm missing the joke.... but...  no. I wouldn't post a video etc etc...
    are you sure? Love you man. 

    Anyways..
    Not a joke, but perhaps a moment of genius as i sup a stella..
     Thinking about setting up a local turf removal service in my spare time and what to name it, would look good on back of a van and make people giggle.
    Came up with  "Sod Off". 
    Dont worry, be silly.
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 23802
    You could have a surfer on a green wave and be called "Turf's Up". 
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    I'm sick of companies trying to be witty or clever with their names or van liveries.

    I was following a truck yesterday with a lovely colour scheme and (company name) written down the side in a beautiful font and "100 years" below it.

    I have absolutely no fucking clue what they do or whether I might use their services.

    If they'd emblazoned their truck with "100kg up to 200 miles £50" I'd have possibly spent money with them.  As it is, they could be an interior decorator, a removals company or a manufacturer of pumps for sewage plants.
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • crunchmancrunchman Frets: 10961
    Emp_Fab said:
    I'm sick of companies trying to be witty or clever with their names or van liveries.

    I was following a truck yesterday with a lovely colour scheme and (company name) written down the side in a beautiful font and "100 years" below it.

    I have absolutely no fucking clue what they do or whether I might use their services.

    If they'd emblazoned their truck with "100kg up to 200 miles £50" I'd have possibly spent money with them.  As it is, they could be an interior decorator, a removals company or a manufacturer of pumps for sewage plants.

    They could be a car dealer so you wouldn't bother them anyway.  :)
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