Query failed: connection to localhost:9312 failed (errno=111, msg=Connection refused). Friday humour - Off Topic Discussions on The Fretboard
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UNPLANNED DOWNTIME: 12th Oct 23:45

Friday humour

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  • PoboyPoboy Frets: 430
    Shrews said:
    Bluddy stoopid micks.
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  • ShrewsShrews Frets: 2424
     
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  • goldtopgoldtop Frets: 5625
    There was a young harlot from Kew,
    Who filled her vagina with glue.
    She said, with a grin,
    If they pay to get in,
    They'll pay to get out of it, too.
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  • HaychHaych Frets: 5218
    There once was a fellow named Ben, 
    Aroused by the sheep in the pen. 
    Though he knew it's forbidden, 
    He was parasite-ridden, 
    From trying it every now and then.

    I meant April. ~ Simon Weir

    Bit of trading feedback here.

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  • ShrewsShrews Frets: 2424
    https://br.ifunny.co/video/dog-accidentally-attends-news-interview-30HueKXqA?s=cl
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  • KittyfriskKittyfrisk Frets: 16332
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 23802
    If we're doing crap poetry... 

    Some say each haiku
    Must reference the seasons
    Don't fall for that one
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9107
    To capture the world
    In seventeen syllables 
    is very diffi 
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7202


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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7202


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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7202
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  • guitars4youguitars4you Frets: 12794
    tFB Trader
    Shrews said:
     
    love that
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  • crunchmancrunchman Frets: 10961
    guitars4you said:
    Shrews said:
     
    love that

    I know we keep seeing the same things recycled in this thread, but to do it the next day is probably a record.
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  • springheadspringhead Frets: 1522
    There was a young woman from Bude
    Who went for a swim in the    lake
    A man in a punt 
    Stuck his pole in   the water
    And said you can’t swim here love it’s private. 
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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 11742
    edited September 2023
    There once was a girl from Devizes
    Who’s tits were different sizes
    One was so small 
    You couldn’t see it at all
    But the other won several prizes. 


    My trading feedback  http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/57616/
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  • Philly_QPhilly_Q Frets: 20197
    I think perhaps we should have a "Friday Saucy Limericks" thread....
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  • kaypeejaykaypeejay Frets: 751
    Philly_Q said:
    I think perhaps we should have a "Friday Saucy Limericks" thread....
    I don't get it!
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  • AdeyAdey Frets: 1988
    There was a young man from St Ives
    Who got stung on the arm by a wasp
    When they asked "did it hurt"?
    He replied "no it didn't"
    "It can do it again if it wants".
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  • ShrewsShrews Frets: 2424
     
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  • swillerswiller Frets: 662
    There was a young gent from brazil
    Who swallowed a dynamite pill
    His bum backfired
    His tummy retired
    and his willy shot over the hill.
    Dont worry, be silly.
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  • nero1701nero1701 Frets: 770
    There was a young lady from Ealing
    Who had a funny feeling
    Sat on a chair with her legs in the air
    And pished all over the ceiling
    My Trading Feedback

    "If it smells like shit...It is probably shit"
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  • ChalkyChalky Frets: 6460
    The deckhand's name was Topper
    By God he had a whopper!
    Twice round his neck
    And once round the deck
    And back up his arse as a stopper!

    Twas on the good ship Venus....
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9107
    edited September 2023
    Adey said:
    There was a young man from St Ives
    Who got stung on the arm by a wasp
    When they asked "did it hurt"?
    He replied "no it didn't"
    "It can do it again if it wants".
    There was a young man from Dunoon
    Who used to eat soup with a fork
    For he said since I eat
    Neither fish, fowl, or flesh
    I should otherwise finish too quick.

    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9107
    edited September 2023
    There once was a man from Japan
    Whose limericks never would scan
    When asked why that was
    He said it’s because
    I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can.
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 11742
    edited September 2023
    There was a young lady called Ransom
    Made love several times in a Hansom
    When she clamoured for more
    Came a voice from the floor
    “The name ma’am is Simpson not Samson”
     
    I have no idea how I remember that, it sounds Victorian. It seemed terribly naughty when I was a schoolboy. 
    My trading feedback  http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/57616/
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30022
    The more limericks you hear, the less they make sense.
    The words just get all jumbled and meaningless. Like when you repeat a word over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
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  • bluecatbluecat Frets: 429
    Mary had a little lamb 
    She also had a duck
    She put them on the mantle piece
    To see if they would fall off.
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  • NothingOnTheTeleNothingOnTheTele Frets: 312
    edited September 2023
    There once was a man from Calcutta
    Who spoke with a terrible stutter.
    'For breakfast,' he said,
    'I'll have b-b-bread
    And b-b-b-b-b-b-butter!'
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  • DefaultMDefaultM Frets: 6724
    There once was a man from the fretboard
    Who thought he did funny limericks
    He didnt
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  • hollywoodroxhollywoodrox Frets: 3605
    swiller said:
    there was a young lady from ealing
    who had a peculiar feeling
    she lay on her back
    and opened her crack
    and pissed all over the ceiling.
    I first heard that in the infants around 72 73  amazing to see it still doing the rounds 
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