Friday humour

hollywoodrox · September 2023

There was a young woman from the Azores
Whose fanny was covered in sores
The dogs in the street would lick the green meat
That hung in festoons round her drawers.

Poboy · September 2023

No more limericks..... for the love of god. Please.

Emp_Fab · September 2023

Nice.

There once was a man from Tashkent
Whose knob was incredibly bent
His wife had a something..... something mc something
and something that rhymes with 'her rent'.

Emp_Fab · September 2023

Nice.

There once was a man from Tashkent
Whose knob was incredibly bent
His wife had a something..... something mc something
and something that rhymes with 'her rent'.

Poboy · September 2023

Great stuff, slick....

Haych · September 2023

There was once a young man named Gandhi
Who went to the bar for a shandy
With his great loin cloth
He wiped off the froth
And the barman said “Blimey, that’s handy!”

guitars4you · September 2023

An ambitious young girl from Leeds
Was good looking with strong sexual needs
She liked the rich boys
With very big toys
So developed the skills to succeed

guitars4you · September 2023

Girls from Cambridge learn to punt
The rich ones like to ride in the hunt
And once a year
They like to go queer
And have a girl lick them where they shouldn't

Dav275 · September 2023

There was a young plumber from Leigh
Who plumbed a young girl by the sea
Said the girl "Stop your plumbing, there's somebody coming"
"I know," said the plumber, "it's me"

p90fool · September 2023

Fuck me, give it a rest, we've all stopped bothering to read them now.

swiller · September 2023

p90fool said:

Fuck me, give it a rest, we've all stopped bothering to read them now.

that isnt necessarily true
that claim from p90 fool.
if you dont want to read them
be gone all you heathens
these limericks are bound to ensue

merlin · September 2023

Da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da
Da da da da da
Da da da da da da da fuck

Winny_Pooh · September 2023

Headphones · September 2023

All well and good - but why do so many fail to scan? and not the ones intentionally for the giggle?

Winny_Pooh · September 2023

Stratavarious · September 2023

p90fool said:

Fuck me, give it a rest, we've all stopped bothering to read them now.

A guitarist named P90fool
Thought limericks the work of a tool
They said with a fuck me
Let's take a break and let’s see

If we can come up with better by tea

Emp_Fab · September 2023

A forumite named Stratavarious
Thought his limerick was quite hilarious
But it didn't quite scan
Meaning I'm not a fan
And mine doesn't rhyme at the end either.

DesVegas · September 2023

https://i.imgur.com/5UxffAK.jpg

Winny_Pooh · September 2023

stufisher · September 2023

Staying with what sells well in the Motherland

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJvTrmpF/

goldtop · October 2023

Apologies that I can't work out how to embed an imgur video/gif/thingy, but...

if you're a sucker for the pure and unbridled enthusiasm of a dog, this is well worth a click:

https://imgur.com/gallery/iXD3lxC

DesVegas · October 2023

RocknRollDave · October 2023

These limericks are bringing back painful memories of a particularly unsuccessful English lesson I taught a couple of years back.

AK99 · October 2023

Poboy said:

Shrews said:

Bluddy stoopid micks.

Hard to tell whether that's a p1ss poor attempt at irony, or something of a different nature altogether.

Adey · October 2023

Is it???? Seems fairly obviously aimed at irony I do believe.

Unless I'm even thicker....

AK99 · October 2023

Try swopping out Paddy and micks for Mohammed and pakis, Sambo and blacks / Moshie and yids there - see how it reads maybe.

Thought those days were past. It's fkn racist, and deserves to be called out.

Dr_Necessiter · October 2023

Why not "Edward" instead. There - fixed it for you.

Dr_Necessiter · October 2023

Sorry AK99, I was being flippant.

Serious question, much of comedy/ humour is dependent on misunderstanding or on difference of perception, so how in the 21st century should that be conveyed without giving offence? Clearly it is now unacceptable to imply that those of one ethnicity/ race/ nationality or religion, gender or of certain physical characteristics are inherently less intelligent or more prone to misunderstanding or errors of perception than another so where do we go?

An Englishman, an Englishman and another Englishman walk into a bar...?

I'm genuinely interested. Maybe it needs to be in another thread...?

mart · October 2023

Dr_Necessiter said:

Sorry AK99, I was being flippant.

Serious question, much of comedy/ humour is dependent on misunderstanding or on difference of perception, so how in the 21st century should that be conveyed without giving offence? Clearly it is now unacceptable to imply that those of one ethnicity/ race/ nationality or religion, gender or of certain physical characteristics are inherently less intelligent or more prone to misunderstanding or errors of perception than another so where do we go?

An Englishman, an Englishman and another Englishman walk into a bar...?

I'm genuinely interested. Maybe it needs to be in another thread...?

One safe way is to make the joke on you. Eg: I told my wife "my bum hole is really burning, I've no idea what it is". Etc etc.

monquixote · October 2023

mart said:

Dr_Necessiter said:

Sorry AK99, I was being flippant.

Serious question, much of comedy/ humour is dependent on misunderstanding or on difference of perception, so how in the 21st century should that be conveyed without giving offence? Clearly it is now unacceptable to imply that those of one ethnicity/ race/ nationality or religion, gender or of certain physical characteristics are inherently less intelligent or more prone to misunderstanding or errors of perception than another so where do we go?

An Englishman, an Englishman and another Englishman walk into a bar...?

I'm genuinely interested. Maybe it needs to be in another thread...?

One safe way is to make the joke on you. Eg: I told my wife "my bum hole is really burning, I've no idea what it is". Etc etc.

In the case of this joke adding "paddy" to it doesn't really add anything to the humour other than making it slightly racist.

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