Query failed: connection to localhost:9312 failed (errno=111, msg=Connection refused). Friday humour - Off Topic Discussions on The Fretboard
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UNPLANNED DOWNTIME: 12th Oct 23:45

Friday humour

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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7202


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  • ShrewsShrews Frets: 2424
     
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  • TanninTannin Frets: 4394


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  • proggyproggy Frets: 5721
    I went to give a sperm donation today. The nurse said, "Would you like to masturbate in the cup?"

    "Thanks" I replied, "But I don't think I'm ready for a competition yet"
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  • JonathangusJonathangus Frets: 4080
    Trading feedback | How to embed images using Imgur

    As for "when am I ready?"  You'll never be ready.  It works in reverse, you become ready by doing it.  - pmbomb


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  • HaychHaych Frets: 5218
    Little Mario came home from school crying:

    "Mum! At school, everybody calls me mafioso."

    "Don't worry, son. I'll talk to that principal tomorrow."

    "Thanks, Mum. Please make it look like an accident."

    I meant April. ~ Simon Weir

    Bit of trading feedback here.

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  • KittyfriskKittyfrisk Frets: 16332

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  • HaychHaych Frets: 5218
    Today I scared the postman by going to the door in my underwear. I don't know what scared him more: seeing me in my underwear or that I knew where he lived!

    I meant April. ~ Simon Weir

    Bit of trading feedback here.

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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 15603
    There is a Gary Delaney one that reminds me of this forum (for reasons that will be obvious to longer term users):



    ”I’ll tell you what really boils my piss”



    ”Hotel kettles.”
    I’ll handle this Violet, you take your three hour break. 
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 27656
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 27656

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  • crunchmancrunchman Frets: 10961
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  • cruxiformcruxiform Frets: 2339
    RocknRollDave said:
    roberty said:
    Shrews said:
     

    ?

    This is the humour thread, not the spite thread.



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  • equalsqlequalsql Frets: 5849
    edited September 2023
    Great old timey singers.


    (pronounced: equal-sequel)   "I suffered for my art.. now it's your turn"
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  • HaychHaych Frets: 5218
    I relabelled every jar in my wife's spice rack.

    I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin!

    I meant April. ~ Simon Weir

    Bit of trading feedback here.

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  • AK99AK99 Frets: 1334
    edited September 2023
    cruxiform said:



    Didn't know whether best to Lol, Wiz or Wow that.
    I did giggle though:)
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  • swillerswiller Frets: 662
    I wish the govt would make some concrete decisions on the state of these school buildings. 
    Dont worry, be silly.
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  • cruxiformcruxiform Frets: 2339
    swiller said:
    I wish the govt would make some concrete decisions on the state of these school buildings. 
    They had a plan but it was full of holes.
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  • StratavariousStratavarious Frets: 3112
    edited September 2023
    swiller said:
    I wish the govt would make some concrete decisions on the state of these school buildings. 
    I did study RAAC concrete. It was not hard but still a bit of a grey area.
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  • robertyroberty Frets: 10231
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    Or just order ten of them next time you but something.  

    That's what I did.

    The problem is that I've lost the package with the ten of them in.
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30022
    equalsql said:
    Great old timey singers.



    Could they look any more like crossdressers?
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 2600
    May be an image of text that says I built this while trippin No idea what it does Not trying it either 75 Listed 50 minutes ago in Baxter TN
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 2600
    May be a doodle of text that says YOU PUT TWO SPOONS OF SUGAR ON MY WHEETIE BIX YOU KNOW ONLY LIKE ONE AND THREE QUARTERS YOURE DIRT WOMAN DIRT
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • robertyroberty Frets: 10231
    RocknRollDave said:
    roberty said:
    Shrews said:
     

    ?

    This is the humour thread, not the spite thread.
    HAHAHA TRANSPHOBIA
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  • PoboyPoboy Frets: 430
    That was pretty gouda.... 
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  • crunchmancrunchman Frets: 10961
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 27656
    Jonathangus said:
    I NEED to see that band.
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  • DesVegasDesVegas Frets: 4389
    Cats may not be loyal but they won't tell the cops where your drugs are stashed
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  • JonathangusJonathangus Frets: 4080
    Trading feedback | How to embed images using Imgur

    As for "when am I ready?"  You'll never be ready.  It works in reverse, you become ready by doing it.  - pmbomb


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