Query failed: connection to localhost:9312 failed (errno=111, msg=Connection refused). Pearls of wisdom from missus nunckee - Off Topic Discussions on The Fretboard
UNPLANNED DOWNTIME: 12th Oct 23:45

Pearls of wisdom from missus nunckee

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munckeemunckee Frets: 11457
edited December 2019 in Off Topic
Following on from pearls from my autistic son - the passenger window on missus Munckee’s car cane off its mechanism this morning. 

I phoned the garage who said they would sort it temporarily as it was stuck down and order the parts. 

When she got there they asked if it was near side to which she replied “near what, it’s not near me.”

She left the car and they phoned her to say they had pulled the window up and ordered the part, she could drive it home but they had left the panel off to save labour costs when the part was in. 

Missus Munckee said “I can’t  drive it with no door, and what if it rains!”
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  • darthed1981darthed1981 Frets: 10322
    If it helps our boiler loses pressure and needs re-filling every week or so.  It's in the loft.

    Despite at least 10 attempts to show the wife how to do it, still only I can.

    Also, the loft has spiders, and she has a bad knee that makes going down ladders difficult, so once she's up, she might not make it back down...
    We have to be so very careful, what we believe in...
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  • DB1DB1 Frets: 4926
    Well, my wife thought that the Nuremberg Rally was a motor race. *


    * She didn't - I just made that up.
    Call me Dave.
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  • I genuinely don't know whether to give that a lol or a wis, @munckee :confounded: 
    Too much gain... is just about enough \m/

    I'm probably only member of this forum mentioned by name in Whiskey in the Jar

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  • phil_bphil_b Frets: 2009
    my wife once asked me why japan were not playing in the Euros
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 15657
    Hooters once asked me how i was liking my dirty little slut pedal
    tae be or not tae be
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  • octatonicoctatonic Frets: 33263
    Mrs Oct regularly gets the name of famous people wrong.
    A few examples:

    David Beckinham 
    Roger Redford
    Ron Bon Jovi
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  • The other night, our xmas tree lights were  flickering and annoying the wife, she asked me to put them on ‘silent’ for her.
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  • p90foolp90fool Frets: 29588
    If it helps our boiler loses pressure and needs re-filling every week or so.  It's in the loft.

    Despite at least 10 attempts to show the wife how to do it, still only I can.

    In the interests of balance, I once had to patiently explain why I never had to adjust the clock on the boiler twice a year because unlike all the other traditional clocks in the house it was corrected and set by radio waves called an MSF signal. 

    She said "No it isn't, I changed it last night, you wanker". 
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  • Phil_CPhil_C Frets: 233
    My other half checked her payslip the other day and proceeded to tell me she'd worked an extra 17 hours and 93 minutes overtime....
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  • KilgoreKilgore Frets: 8107
    My wife thought that the winter Olympics had the same events as the summer Olympics, but held in the winter. 
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  • My wife thought that Elton John was one of the Beatles.
    Trading feedback | FS: Nothing right now |  WTB: EQD Talons | Jazzmaster build thread
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  • droflufdrofluf Frets: 3144
    Kilgore said:
    My wife thought that the winter Olympics had the same events as the summer Olympics, but held in the winter. 
    I once told my (now) ex-wife that we'd won silver in the snowman making contest at the Winter Olympics. She told her work colleagues the next day. I was not popular...
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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 11742
    My mum’s the one who comes out with the nonsense in our family. Last week I told her one of my cousins had just died. 
    “He was older than you wasn’t he?”
    No mum he was about 6 years younger. 
    “Well he was definitely older than you when he was a little boy”. 

    I also had a decrepit great aunty who got her words muddled up. 
    “I don’t like tube stations. You have to use those escanumerators”. 
    “My son says he can’t come to see me today. He’s burnt out the crutch on his car”
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  • My mother in law has a habit of crashing two well known phrases or sayings together.

    "It's all water under a duck's bridge".

    Don't talk politics and don't throw stones. Your royal highnesses.

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  • francerfrancer Frets: 365
    My mate's ex-girlfriend thought Rod Hull's Emu was an ostrich.
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  • FX_MunkeeFX_Munkee Frets: 2467
    My mother in law has a habit of crashing two well known phrases or sayings together.

    "It's all water under a duck's bridge".
    Malaphors
    My personal favourite, which I probably use too often "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it"
    Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame, you give love a bad name. Not to mention archery tuition.
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  • SnagsSnags Frets: 4987
    @munckee You'd best hope missus munckee never reads this stuff :)

    Also, your "m" key appears to have swapped places with the "n".
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 2600
    Courtesy of a friends sister:

    On being shown someone's new car "are those electric windscreen wipers?"

    On arriving home one day, after holding hand on the telephone receiver for a minute or two "I just wanted to see if my boyfriend had called when I was out. Well, it will be warm won't it?".

    Lovely girl.
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • My sister, as a grown woman, watching Troy:

    "I bet there's men in that horse."
    I'm just a Maserati in a world of Kias.
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 24559
    From what I recall, “nunckee” was CPO Pertwee’s cheeky uncle with a tug boat...
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  • gusman2xgusman2x Frets: 897
    When my wife started uni, she followed signs to a "free plasticine" event. She was really excited, as doing an arts degree, she thought this was pretty cool. Of course, Ariel Sharron didn't dish out any plasticine.
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    edited December 2019
    You do all realise this is a very dangerous thread don’t you?
    You’re all taking huge risks here! :O
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    @digitalscream  Lee! How the hell did that animated smiley get there?  I typed my usual “colon followed by L” to get the lol smiley and it showed a grumpy face, so I tried colon O and got that animated thing.  WTF?  Are you experimenting with smileys or something?
     
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • siremoonsiremoon Frets: 1525
    FX_Munkee said:
    My mother in law has a habit of crashing two well known phrases or sayings together.

    "It's all water under a duck's bridge".
    Malaphors
    My personal favourite, which I probably use too often "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it"

    My favourite variant of that is "we'll cross that bridge when we've burnt it"
    “He is like a man with a fork in a world of soup.” - Noel Gallagher
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  • I can't remember the context exactly, but I remember saying to my wife that she needed to use a blunt instrument of some description. Her reply?

    "Like a knife?"
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  • francer said:
    My mate's ex-girlfriend thought Rod Hull's Emu was an ostrich.
    I'll admit to thinking Basil Brush was a squirrel.
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  • munckeemunckee Frets: 11457
    New year discussion about the year, mrs Munckee “I like 2020 that’s a good number, does that mean the twenties have started” when I said it did “what century is it?”   When I said the 21st “until when?” So I explained.  

    “it’s a long century isn’t it!”.....


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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30023
    Sexist pigs!
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  • LastMantraLastMantra Frets: 3819
    edited January 2020
    Your wifes must be really good looking. 
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    His wife's what?
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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