What advice would you give a new dad?

NothingOnTheTele · August 2023

Dads of the forum... What do you wish you'd known when you became a father? What advice would you give a new dad?

theatreanchor · August 2023

Be even more patient than you think you need to be. Sleep when you can. Support your wife even more than you think you should. Don’t rely on booze so much.

Hootsmon · August 2023

Two is the magic age after that all you get is shit

rustneversleeps · August 2023

Go missing.

Offset · August 2023

NothingOnTheTele said:

Dads of the forum... What do you wish you'd known when you became a father? What advice would you give a new dad?

Buy a bulk supply of earplugs.
Disavow yourself of the notion "no child of mine will ever wear hand-me-downs". It took me 3 weeks.
Buy an estate car.
You can't spend enough on a baby buggy.
Babies are serious fun - they grow up fast so enjoy every minute!

AK99 · August 2023

Hang in there - the first 25 years are the worst..

TTony · August 2023

Relax.

Enjoy watching them grow and develop.

Don't stress - they're generally quite hard to break.

Be nice to them - remember that they'll be picking your care home in a few years time.

Sporky · August 2023

There are three golden rules for raising children. Alas, no-one knows what they are.

Offset · August 2023

TTony said:

Relax.

Enjoy watching them grow and develop.

Don't stress - they're generally quite hard to break.

Be nice to them - remember that they'll be picking paying for your care home in a few years time.

A weeny amendment :-)

EricTheWeary · August 2023

I remember telling my manager about MrsTheWeary being pregnant and his advice was to take cheap out of season holidays between now and when they start school. Still holds up.

Birth to eleven is the best bit, the more burdensome, expensive and less interesting bits start after that. So enjoy having young children, we seem to perpetuate the idea that they are only an inconvenience whereas they can be an utter joy. Although don’t assume that everyone else finds your kids as interesting as you do (they really won’t).

Sesh · August 2023

Don't worry, you don't need to ask for advice, it will come from all sides, some good, some bad, some well out of date, often contradictory.
If you have a drop of common sense you'll do alright.
All babies are different. Don't worry if other people's kids or experiences differ.
There will be times when they will cry. You'll develop a routine of going through the obvious, and be baffled. Why is this fucker still crying? Breathe, do your best.
And, most importantly, enjoy it.

Hattigol · August 2023

Enjoy every moment. It flies by.

CoffeeAndTV · August 2023

theatreanchor said:

Support your wife even more than you think you should.

This, but also have your own time too. I didn’t think I’d like the baby part, but it was my favourite time with my son.

thumpingrug · August 2023

Put your guitars away somewhere safe - you won't have time for at least 2-3 years. If you do have time you aren't doing enough to help your partner.

Buy nappies in bulk - you can never have enough.

If she's 100% breastfeeding she won't get any decent sleep for months - so pick up the slack in the rest of the house. If bottle or hybrid feeding, do your stint in the night.

The first year is non-stop hard work - it gets nicer ( not easier) after that. 2 - starting school are special - take as much time as you can to enjoy this.

Congratulations dude and hope all goes well.

Kilgore · August 2023

Kids like putting Lego into acoustic guitars.

sweave · August 2023

Enjoy every single day.
Tell your kid(s) you love them, hug them, talk to them, play with them every single day.
For me, being a dad is one of the best things ever (my kids are now 25 and 22)

Musicwolf · August 2023

Offset said:

Disavow yourself of the notion "no child of mine will ever wear hand-me-downs". It took me 3 weeks.

Mine's 18 and I'm wearing his hand-me-downs. I got a nice pair of Nike trainers last week.

euan · August 2023

Literally reading this thread while holding a 9 week old that’s crying as they struggle to do a poo.

From the point of view of someone who is very much in that moment what Sesh says rings true. Especially about everyone’s advice and experience, while it can be welcome it can be just as irrelevant.

Your baby is unique, it’s and your experiences are different to everyone else’s and don’t hold yourself to someone else’s baby sleeping five hours a night because they used this one swaddle etc.

The one thing that has been invaluable for me has been a baby sling, which we are fortunate to get in the baby box. My wife got a posh one but the baby box one works for me better. Holds the baby secure again you and magically makes them sleep. We’ve gone to the pub and our for lunch multiple times thanks to it.

If your partner is planning on breast feeding, consider having a lactation of breastfeeding consultant visit you. Specifically to look for a tongue tie, NHS are absolutely terrible at spotting and dealing with it. Our baby had a tie that was significantly reduced his ability to latch and stimulate milk supply. The lactation consultant snipped the tie and within a day there was a drastic change.

Most importantly be kind to yourself and your partner. Remind each other that it’s hard and recognise that you’re doing a good job.

Sporky · August 2023

Kilgore said:

Kids like putting Lego into acoustic guitars.

Everyone likes putting Lego into acoustic guitars.

Also remember that unqualified amateurs with no prior experience have been raising reasonably successful human beings for a jolly long time, so it can't be that hard.

rze99 · August 2023

Learn to enjoy playing through your headphones and don’t give up the guitar even for a short while.

Jono111 · August 2023

Start a savings account for them

viz · August 2023

Put a name tag on them, they all look the same.

viz · August 2023

thumpingrug said:

Put your guitars away somewhere safe - you won't have time for at least 2-3 years. If you do have time you aren't doing enough to help your partner.

Well, or buy a guitar while peoples’ attention is elsewhere.

chris78 · August 2023

Keep your mates around and be able to speak to them.
It’s bloody hard and everyone is conscious that it’s hard on the lady, but forgets about the Dad.

guitars4you · August 2023

My daughter is 21 now - We've always got on well and still do so today - I wish I could slow it all down and start again - Magic in so many ways - We have a great bond - She just got back from the USA after working there for nearly 3 months - the hug and tears at the airport when I collected her was amazing

What I liked is when they got to say 3/4/5 and they started doing everything for themselves

1st time they swam 1 width with no arm bands
1st time they rode a bike with no stabalisers
1st time they did a cart wheel
etc etcetc

Best advice is to savour every moment as it goes by far to quickly

guitars4you · August 2023

One small tip - I'm assuming some policy still available - At the time (2001) I put £18 a month into a small fund - It had to be cashed in at the age of 18 and you could only put in £18 a month - When she was 18 it had morphed into just over £6K - Not the worlds biggest pot - But she could use it for Uni, buy a car or whatever - I did not know when she was 1 what she might need - £18 a month was so affordable - As it happens she put it in premium bonds and had £200/300 most years since

A nice treat at worse

guitars4you · August 2023

And by the way congratulations

Offset · August 2023

Musicwolf said:

Offset said:

Disavow yourself of the notion "no child of mine will ever wear hand-me-downs". It took me 3 weeks.

Mine's 18 and I'm wearing his hand-me-downs. I got a nice pair of Nike trainers last week.

Mine is 21. And female. Sadly I do not stand to benefit from HMDs. She does wear some of my stuff though :-)

Offset · August 2023

guitars4you said:

My daughter is 21 now - We've always got on well and still do so today - I wish I could slow it all down and start again - Magic in so many ways - We have a great bond - She just got back from the USA after working there for nearly 3 months - the hug and tears at the airport when I collected her was amazing

What I liked is when they got to say 3/4/5 and they started doing everything for themselves

1st time they swam 1 width with no arm bands
1st time they rode a bike with no stabalisers
1st time they did a cart wheel
etc etcetc

Best advice is to savour every moment as it goes by far to quickly

Great post Mark.

darthed1981 · August 2023

A year isn't a long time but it takes them from newborn to toddler, before you know it they are little people.

Love every minute of it.

mrkb · August 2023

Jono111 said:

Start a savings account for them

Agreed, we put all the child benefit into a savings account since birth, so that there’s a tidy sum now he’s reached 18 to help with Uni fees.

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What advice would you give a new dad?

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