What advice would you give a new dad?

MrTee · August 2023

Try to enjoy every minute
Don't beat yourselves up if you get things wrong or if it feels hard
Take plenty of pictures/videos
Encourage them to ask questions
Ask for help if you need it

Funkfingers · August 2023

Put each child's name down for a good (read: posh/private) school. Posh schools need cleaners and dinner ladies.

gumbothewiddler · August 2023

Some lovely posts on here, all of which I would echo.

However, on a practical level, never leave home without a pack of baby wipes and tissues…

Paul_C · August 2023

IMHO:

Babies are pretty boring, but they don't stay like that for long.

Toddlers are fun, even more fun once they learn to talk.

You have a great excuse for doing lots of fun stuff, including indoor playgrounds, zoos etc.

Kittyfrisk · August 2023

gumbothewiddler said:

Some lovely posts on here, all of which I would echo.

However, on a practical level, never leave home without a pack of baby wipes and tissues…

Great advice that can apply up to & well beyond their thirties...

sev112 · August 2023

They are not you, and they don’t belong to you. They are loaned and trusted to you for a period to try and do their best for them when they incapable through to illogical. They don’t owe you anything and anything that they do give back to you comes from what and how you give to them.

most of the subsequent behaviour is a copy of you/your partner. Try to behave around them as you would like them to behave (try not to argue and shout around them)
Be a role model for everything you would want them to be and do

Zoolooter · August 2023

Jono111 said:

Start a savings account for them

Start a savings account for yourself.

Chalky · August 2023

They need love, patience and parenting. All kids thrive on feeling loved and cared for, helped and supported, and having boundaries, routines and structure in their lives.

What they don't need is being ignored by parents who can't take an hour out of looking at their phone/computer/device. Or being treated as a bolt-on lifestyle choice. Or being left to do as they want - they interpret total freedom as no-one cares.

equalsql · August 2023

Sudocreme is a life saver if your babby gets nappy rash. Seriously.

Deadman · August 2023

Don’t listen to anyone else and just enjoy it as it’s the most wonderful gift you could ever wish for.

crunchman · August 2023

Don't sit them on your lap without a nappy on.

sev112 · August 2023

equalsql said:

Sudocreme is a life saver if your babby gets nappy

Yes, but what do you put on the baby ?

RocknRollDave · August 2023

Stop trying to be the perfect dad. You aren’t, and you don’t need to be. Nobody is. Get over it.

TTony · August 2023

Paul_C said:

You have a great excuse for doing lots of fun stuff, including indoor playgrounds, zoos etc.

Yes, but stay out of the ball pit. That's just for the littl'uns and adults aren't allowed in there.

(There were no signs, how was I to know?).

Offset · August 2023

crunchman said:

Don't sit them on your lap without a nappy on.

And make sure the baby is wearing a nappy as well.

markblack · August 2023

Always have a cheeky wipe.

Cheeky Wipes - 25 Microfibre Washable Baby Wipes, 15x15cm Multi-Colour Rainbow Pack Washcloths, Extra Soft & Reusable, Perfect for Baby's Hands & Face https://amzn.eu/d/bfFnIMv

munckee · August 2023

My musing on it is I have experienced love, exhilaration, rooting for someone else, fear and feelings of responsibility since I’ve had kids like I never imagined possible.

It’s been the experience of my life. My daughter is just about to go to uni and I’m in equal measures dreading it and feeling sick and really excited for her and delighted she has achieved what she set out to and is following her dreams.

menamestom · August 2023

Pledge.

When you get a slide and they are about 4, you will understand.

Tears dry, but the memory of a child hitting those speeds lasts forever

Kittyfrisk · August 2023

TTony said:

Paul_C said:

You have a great excuse for doing lots of fun stuff, including indoor playgrounds, zoos etc.

Yes, but stay out of the ball pit. That's just for the littl'uns and adults aren't allowed in there.

(There were no signs, how was I to know?).

How did you get the ball pit kiddy piss smell out of your clothes?

* Please tell me you were wearing clothes at the time...

guitars4you · August 2023

TTony said:

Paul_C said:

You have a great excuse for doing lots of fun stuff, including indoor playgrounds, zoos etc.

Yes, but stay out of the ball pit. That's just for the littl'uns and adults aren't allowed in there.

(There were no signs, how was I to know?).

and if you do go in the ball pit don't drop your car keys - Kids playing hunt the keys think it might be fun

Dominic · August 2023

advice for new dad ?
You think that's tough ?.............wait about 16 years

EricTheWeary · August 2023

guitars4you said:

TTony said:

Paul_C said:

You have a great excuse for doing lots of fun stuff, including indoor playgrounds, zoos etc.

Yes, but stay out of the ball pit. That's just for the littl'uns and adults aren't allowed in there.

(There were no signs, how was I to know?).

and if you do go in the ball pit don't drop your car keys - Kids playing hunt the keys think it might be fun

If you do go on a bouncy castle take your glasses off first.

munckee · August 2023

In the car if they say they need a wee or feel sick believe them.

mrkb · August 2023

munckee said:

In the car if they say they need a wee or feel sick believe them.

And if they say they’re not going to be sick, don’t believe them….

Paul_C · August 2023

guitars4you said:

TTony said:

Paul_C said:

You have a great excuse for doing lots of fun stuff, including indoor playgrounds, zoos etc.

Yes, but stay out of the ball pit. That's just for the littl'uns and adults aren't allowed in there.

(There were no signs, how was I to know?).

and if you do go in the ball pit don't drop your car keys - Kids playing hunt the keys think it might be fun

I have been in a number of ball pits and rescued a small plastic toy from one

It's going to cost me a few quid but I'll be taking my youngest to Dudley Zoo sometime soon to feed giraffes.

maharg101 · August 2023

In no particular order:
Talk to them. Properly. Teach them rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. Explain the different outcomes of trying hard at school vs leaving with no qualifications. Read to them. Make sure they see you reading. Treasure them. You only have them on loan for a short time. Don't preach. Be their friend and advocate for what they want to do. When they're small, and you're out and about, keep your eyes on them. Explain things to them in an age appropriate way, especially when they ask you questions. Never fob them off with half answers or inanities. Always say I Love You. Be generous in having their friends round, and in letting them stay at their friends. Always have music in the house. Always eat together round the table. Be patient. Make sure they can always trust and rely on you. Don't lose sight of your partner. Take turns at being the "good cop, bad cop".

FWIW the best present we ever gave our 2 sons was their sibling. It was often hard work, but they both gained so much through having each other.

Congratulations and best of luck.

tone1 · August 2023

Be present.
The highs are higher & the lows are lower.
Don’t wish you life away, savour every phase they enter.
Take lots of photos, but not so many it spoils the moment.
Go easy on yourself & your partner.
Don’t drink too much.
Enjoy the mundane.
Give your partner time to themselves & get time for yourself too.
Watch the polar express at Christmas……

Hyster · August 2023

maharg101 said:

In no particular order:
Talk to them. Properly. Teach them rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. Explain the different outcomes of trying hard at school vs leaving with no qualifications. Read to them. Make sure they see you reading. Treasure them. You only have them on loan for a short time. Don't preach. Be their friend and advocate for what they want to do. When they're small, and you're out and about, keep your eyes on them. Explain things to them in an age appropriate way, especially when they ask you questions. Never fob them off with half answers or inanities. Always say I Love You. Be generous in having their friends round, and in letting them stay at their friends. Always have music in the house. Always eat together round the table. Be patient. Make sure they can always trust and rely on you. Don't lose sight of your partner. Take turns at being the "good cop, bad cop".

FWIW the best present we ever gave our 2 sons was their sibling. It was often hard work, but they both gained so much through having each other.

Congratulations and best of luck.

This is a father. Sage advice articulated better than I could have. Read this man's words again, you have the honour and a responsibility greater than any other you will hold. I wish you all the best.

monquixote · August 2023

I've got three of the blighters and the youngest is now 5 so the memory of them being tiny is starting to fade.

What I can say is:

All kids are different and so anyone telling you x or y way is right is talking crap you will work it out for yourself.

It's easy to hyper focus on them being babies, but that's the shortest time even by 6 months they are completely different and by a year they will likely be walking about.
The first 3 months, or so is really hard and tiring, but it just gets easier. Also you will panic about something they do for example, not sleeping, eating, shitting, whatever and it will dominate your life then it will change in a few weeks and you will wonder what the fuss was about.

I found babies kind of boring, but kids are just super fun (my eldest is 10) and they just get easier as they can do more stuff for themselves.

I would say it's worth forcing yourself to be strict about bedtimes or you may find yourself up until 11pm every night with an 8 year old who still sleeps in your bed. (This is more common than you would think)

Enjoy it, it goes by really fast.

Shrews · August 2023

When it gets tough take a deep breath, count to 10, take yourself out of the situation.

Expect the unexpected. You never know how it's going to turn out. Curveballs around every corner. Just when you think you've got it cracked, that's the time to be most aware.

Don't compare yourself to the 'happy families' out there. When you raise kids there is no textbook, those people don't have your kids and you don't have theirs. In fact, don't waste hours on social media, use the time more wisely.

Don't beat yourself up when things don't go to plan.

Praise your wife, do loads of stuff for her and I mean LOADS. If you're exhausted after another 12 hour day, still do your share when you get home. Keep fit, eat well, be up to the task, every relentless day without fail. She will be like a swan, cool on the surface, legs paddling like crazy below. And shit scared. Scared to death she's getting things wrong and a 'bad mum'. Shit scared that she's letting you down and her parents down. Worried her friends and siblings will think she's a failure.

Keep a diary. Every day will be a first. The first smile, the first burp, the first nappy change, the first laugh, the first sneeze, crawl, walk, talk, first time you were angry, cried etc.

Give it to your child on their 18th, 21st, wedding day, graduation or when you see fit. It will be the best present your child will ever receive, and give you and your wife a welcome boost in years to come.

This is best journey your body and spirit will ever go on. Enjoy every second and feel lucky, many out there don't get the chance.

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories

In this Discussion

Become a Subscriber!

What advice would you give a new dad?

Comments