Enough of the smoking mirrors!

Hurling_Fruitmig · September 2023

Headphones said:

I work a lot with His Majesty's Navy. The one that I hear most - and is all the more infuriating is "Pacific" - and specifically not the bloody Ocean!

Maybe not quite the same but my favourite 'military-ism' is the habit of service persons introducing themselves thusly:

"Hello, my name is Sgt Bloggs".

It's really not, unless your parents were masters of nominative determinism and/or you changed your name every time you were promoted.

rogd · September 2023

Nearly unique.

Dominic · September 2023

I will send it to ' YOURSELF '
where has this gem beloved of call centre staff come from ?

Kittyfrisk · September 2023

I'm getting increasingly bemused by people using 'outwith' when they mean outside.

Jonathangus · September 2023

Kittyfrisk said:

I'm getting increasingly bemused by people using 'outwith' when they mean outside.

AFAIK, 'outwith' is a version of 'without' prevalent north of the border. And 'without' can mean 'outside' - as in:

There is a green hill far away
Without a city wall

Cranky · September 2023

Let me use my supposable thumbs to do some research on my phone. I’ll get back to you.

HAL9000 · September 2023

Dominic said:

the_jaffa said:

That sort of error is known as an Eggcorn. There’s quite a lot of them

Is that the same as a mixed metaphor or not Pacifically ?

Mixing metaphors - Is this the thin end of the slippery slope?

HAL9000 · September 2023

skullfunkerry said:

Don't have one from today, but two of my favourites came from Sir Trevor McDonald: "The government is to ban all small caliger handbuns", and the classic "The cunt Kentryside"

Loads of people complained about that second one... what is the point of that? Yes it's a rude word, but it was a mistake

I like the story (presumably true) of somebody who complained to the beeb after turning on Radio 4 and hearing the expression ‘tits like coconuts’ - turned out to be a programme about the feeding habits of garden birds.

Stuckfast · September 2023

Tannin said:

Stuckfast said:

The one that really gets my goat is when people use 'commonplace' as it it was a posh way of saying 'common'.

I can't comment on the people using it, or on whether they are using it correctly, but the two words do have different meanings. Anything commonplace is by definition common, but any number of things can be common without being commonplace.

Yes exactly! It's like when people say 'epicentre' instead of 'centre'. They think it's a fancy way of saying the same thing but it actually means something different.

darius · September 2023

Well well well
How the turn tables…

Chalky · September 2023

djspecialist said:

BillDL said:

I used to work with a guy that took two very standard proverbs or clichéed sayings and pieced them together without realising what he was doing, for example:
"You can drag a dead horse to water, but you can't make it drink".
"It's like oil off a duck's back".

In that vein, a colleague of mine has (consciously) coined:

"Let's burn that bridge when we come to it"

That's an old City (of London) saying when back-pedalling on a series of promises to a customer.

Chalky · September 2023

rogd said:

Nearly unique.

I heard "Fairly unique" the other day...

Kittyfrisk · September 2023

Jonathangus said:

Kittyfrisk said:

I'm getting increasingly bemused by people using 'outwith' when they mean outside.

AFAIK, 'outwith' is a version of 'without' prevalent north of the border. And 'without' can mean 'outside' - as in:

There is a green hill far away
Without a city wall

I understand the context & variations, I was commenting on the rise in the use of the term including on Radio 4.

Tannin · September 2023

Chalky said:

rogd said:

Nearly unique.

I heard "Fairly unique" the other day...

It's the oxymoronic "very unique" which gets me.

BillDL · September 2023

Jonathangus said:

Kittyfrisk said:

I'm getting increasingly bemused by people using 'outwith' when they mean outside.

AFAIK, 'outwith' is a version of 'without' prevalent north of the border. And 'without' can mean 'outside' - as in:

There is a green hill far away
Without a city wall

You can tell who went to Sunday school as a kid, or sang hymns in school assembly, or perhaps still goes to church. That was the first thing that also popped into my mind, having gone to Sunday school when I was young. As a kid in the Boy's Brigade my Dad said that he thought the hymn said "My cup's full of running water" , instead of "My cup's full and running over", but would sing that part more quietly because he could hear that others were singing something slightly different.

Tannin · September 2023

In the name of the father, the son, and into the hole he goes:

HAL9000 · September 2023

People saying ‘literally’ when they mean ‘figuratively’.

People saying ‘question mark’ when they mean ‘question’.

People in restaurants who ask the waiter ‘Can I get a coffee?’ (I assume that it’s not actually wrong as it’s using ‘get’ to mean acquire rather than fetch but I still expect the waiter to reply ‘Probably best if I get it Sir’. Also, can you actually have ‘a coffee’? Surely it’s ‘a cup of coffee’ or ‘some coffee’.)

Philly_Q · September 2023

I often used to see "rediculous" instead of "ridiculous" - frequently used by the same people who write "defiantly" instead of "definitely". I can understand the latter, as it can be a spell-check thing and easily ignored by people who don't know the difference. But where did "rediculous" come from? It's not even a word.

HAL9000 · September 2023

No-one mentioned ‘would of’ yet?

BillDL · September 2023

Did you read back all the comments? Somebody could of already mentioned that

Cranky · September 2023

Anyone else heard of a “hydrochondriac”?

BillDL · September 2023

Yes, every time my Mother's friend visits the GP every with an ailment she tells them "I'm not a hydrochondriac, so you can take my word for it that when I say there's something wrong there definAYTly something wrong".

Headphones · September 2023

A particular annoyance for me is call centre workers who ask to confirm something or other. A question that begs a yes or no answer...

SpoonMan · September 2023

Yes, it can be very tiring having to constantly correct everyone I talk to.

Thankfully my friends and family realise this, and are very thoughtful, so just try to avoid talking to me at all.

Shows how much they respect me

Sporky · September 2023

Philly_Q said:

I often used to see "rediculous" instead of "ridiculous" - frequently used by the same people who write "defiantly" instead of "definitely". I can understand the latter, as it can be a spell-check thing and easily ignored by people who don't know the difference. But where did "rediculous" come from? It's not even a word.

It's ridonculous.

Jonathangus · September 2023

SpoonMan said:

Yes, it can be very tiring having constantly to correct everyone I talk to.

Split infinitive corrected.

SpoonMan · September 2023

Jonathangus said:

SpoonMan said:

Yes, it can be very tiring having constantly to correct everyone I talk to.

Split infinitive corrected.

Well done, you pass

Adey · September 2023

On my band, when we are doing All Theses Things I've Done, our singer always sings "my erection. Well it comes and goes"

But his Mrs says he is singing the right words....

JEM · September 2023

HAL9000 said:

People saying ‘literally’ when they mean ‘figuratively’.

I'm afraid that ship sailed years ago :-(

https://www.todaytranslations.com/news/official-literally-no-longer-means-literally/ *

*sorry for the obscure link but the alternative was the Daily Mail and I'm not prepared to give them the clicks ;-)

EricTheWeary · September 2023

khaotic said:

I'm quite fond of "dire rear" as an alternative for "diarrhoea" - it's pretty accurate and descriptive

I have had cause to message someone about this gastric complaint this morning and dire rear was easier to spell, got the point across and got a LOL. Excellent.

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Enough of the smoking mirrors!

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