Query failed: connection to localhost:9312 failed (errno=111, msg=Connection refused). Favourite punchlines - Off Topic Discussions on The Fretboard
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UNPLANNED DOWNTIME: 12th Oct 23:45

Favourite punchlines

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  • mudslide73mudslide73 Frets: 2921
    No mate, but do you know anything about gas cookers?
    "A city star won’t shine too far"


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  • sev112sev112 Frets: 2457
    I think I’m in the wrong joke
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  • stickyfiddlestickyfiddle Frets: 24852
    blobb said:

     Hans that does dishes can be as soft as Jervais with a mild green hairy lipped squid.
    YES!!!
    The Assumptions - UAE party band for all your rock & soul desires
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    Fuck 'em, they're only bees.
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • TimcitoTimcito Frets: 390
    You know the type - all fur coat and no knickers.

    Frankie Howerd
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  • bacchanalianbacchanalian Frets: 824
    Philip Glass!
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  • CrankyCranky Frets: 2109
    You will... wash... won't you?
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 23802
    Cranky's reminded me of:

    "If I washed it, would you touch it?" 
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • OffsetOffset Frets: 9212
    "Once he finds out he can't fuck them, he plays them."
    Currently for sale: https://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/247085/pro-ject-essential-ii-turntable
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  • NiteflyNitefly Frets: 4697
    "Know it?  I fuckin' wrote it!"

    (because @bertie seems to have gone walkabout  :# )
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  • fretmeisterfretmeister Frets: 22257
    But I’ve never had a chickpea on my face. 
    SPEAKER IMPEDENCE CALCULATOR
    https://speakerimpedance.co.uk/?act=two_parallel&page=calculator
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  • stevebrumstevebrum Frets: 6759
    So he flips ‘em over and ffffffff. And funnily enough, it lands on its wheels and it starts first time and they just drive away.
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  • thecolourboxthecolourbox Frets: 9128
    edited August 2023
    That's a nik-nak, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone.
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 2600
    edited August 2023
    So, I gave her one.
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 11742
    Yeah, but yours isn’t eating my popcorn! 
    My trading feedback  http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/57616/
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  • GoFishGoFish Frets: 1082
    You use the camel to get to the nearest town!
    Ten years too late and still getting it wrong
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 23802
    A dead one of these. 
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • TimcitoTimcito Frets: 390
    edited August 2023
    ......................................
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  • NiteflyNitefly Frets: 4697
    There is no "F" in cod
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  • NiteflyNitefly Frets: 4697
    Just you an' me, neighbour, just you an' me...
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    Because she didn't want her surname to be 'Shatner-Nicks'.
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • FunkfingersFunkfingers Frets: 13312
    I need somewhere to park ma bike.
    Be seeing you.
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  • markvmarkv Frets: 449
    It was a shih tzu.

    My trading feedback
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  • GoFishGoFish Frets: 1082
    A wonkey.
    Ten years too late and still getting it wrong
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  • slackerslacker Frets: 2093
    Hawk kestrel man Hoover's in the dark
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  • JfingersJfingers Frets: 283
    Where you goin' Smith?
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  • NiteflyNitefly Frets: 4697
    You'll need to get a potato clock.

    (with apologies to @mikeyrob73 ; ;) )
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 23224
    No, you are...  I'm going to burn the shed down.
    Humans are destructive parasites that will destroy the celestial oasis of Earth.  The sooner Homo Sapiens are extinct, the better.
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  • manicguitaristmanicguitarist Frets: 348
    "Now Hans that does dishes is as soft as Gervais with the mild green furry lipped squid..."

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  • manicguitaristmanicguitarist Frets: 348
    "Huts, old navel huts! Cavalry take them and they cover them in chocolate!"
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