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UNPLANNED DOWNTIME: 12th Oct 23:45

Favourite punchlines

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DesVegasDesVegas Frets: 4389
edited August 2023 in Off Topic
...and Iady said if I could come that way I wouldn't need the cream!

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  • munckeemunckee Frets: 11457
    If I fall out of the tree you shoot the dog.  
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  • DesVegasDesVegas Frets: 4389
    Lol
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  • strumjoughlampsstrumjoughlamps Frets: 3067
    I said ping pong balls not king Kongs balls
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  • vizviz Frets: 10211
    Oh sorry, could I have some fish and chips please?
    Paul_C said: People never read the signature bit.
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  • OffsetOffset Frets: 9212
    "Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage."
    Currently for sale: https://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/247085/pro-ject-essential-ii-turntable
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  • munckeemunckee Frets: 11457
    “Nice tits, where do you want the blinds”
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  • LewyLewy Frets: 3795
    "Well I suppose the moral of the story is that when Uncle Terry's been drinking you do not fuck with him..."

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  • DB1DB1 Frets: 4926
    'How dare you! It's ice cream!'
    Call me Dave.
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  • DB1DB1 Frets: 4926
    'Right, I'm going. I can't stand another 68 of those'.
    Call me Dave.
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  • munckeemunckee Frets: 11457
    Read my lips, fetch the POSSE!
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 2600
    Don't know what your laughing at, next week it's your turn in the barrel.
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • hollywoodroxhollywoodrox Frets: 3605
    I’ll wash it as fast as I want 
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  • springheadspringhead Frets: 1522
    I fuck one sheep... 
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  • maharg101maharg101 Frets: 568
    She was like this...

    (holds out hands as if describing large mammaries)

    Terrible arthritis !

     ;)
    This one goes to eleven
    Trading feedback here
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30022
    "Yes".
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  • KebabkidKebabkid Frets: 3178
    There's no I in Team but there is a U (you) in C...
    Feedback - http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/57885/
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  • PoboyPoboy Frets: 430
    With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
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  • fastonebazfastonebaz Frets: 3775
    The vicar took a look at her and said,  "I'm gonna ask you again"
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  • SpoonManSpoonMan Frets: 138
    That's what you're mum said. 
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 15285
    'The Dirty bastards '
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  • DrCorneliusDrCornelius Frets: 6476
    ‘Well it tasted like a prawn!’
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  • stickyfiddlestickyfiddle Frets: 24852
    It's not a lion, it's a giraffe..
    The Assumptions - UAE party band for all your rock & soul desires
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  • DesVegasDesVegas Frets: 4389
    edited August 2023
    And then William Shatonher  (it's a Star Trek joke)
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  • LewyLewy Frets: 3795
    “Terrible”
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  • JerkMoansJerkMoans Frets: 8372
    Eileen never forgave Dexy’s Midnight Runners for inviting her to the bukkake party.
    Inactivist Lefty Lawyer
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 23802
    ...and the barman says "bloody logicians". 
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • oh_pollooh_pollo Frets: 742
    "That cat was the best fuck I ever had."
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  • DavidReesDavidRees Frets: 293
    and if you can't live without me, then why aren't you dead 
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 2600

     Hans that does dishes can be as soft as Jervais with a mild green hairy lipped squid.
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 23802
    ... Transporting gulls over a staid lion for immortal porpoises... 
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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