Lame customer service...

Cranky · September 2023

swiller said:

Cranky said:

^^^ Older folks from the American Midwest call ground beef “hamburger” all the time. My parents always ordered pizza with “hamburger” on it, or they put “hamburger” in a taco. Drove me crazy. I think it derives partly from some nasty processed boxed meal things called Hamburger Helper that were popular back in the day.

As for coffee, have you been to Italy? The differences are real. Ordering “white coffee” is confusing as hell, my best guess would be that you’re ordering cocaine.

Ironically the best coffee i have ever had is Vietnamese coffee, which tasted way better than anything else ive had and has a hit like a good line of charles.

Is that “ironic”?

swiller · September 2023

Your cocaine reference and the fact it was served at home/in the office with any old milk. Yes.

Offset · September 2023

Cranky said:

As for coffee, have you been to Italy? The differences are real. There are various types of coffee drinks with “white” in them. Ordering “white coffee” is confusing as hell, my best guess would be that you’re ordering cocaine. If you want coffee with cream, that’s what you should order.

No-one, but NO-ONE, orders coffee with cream over here old boy. It's coffee with room for milk unless you're buying from some shit automated machine. Or if you're unfortunate enough to be in France, it's cafe au lait just to avoid confusion.

Cranky · September 2023

Offset said:

Cranky said:

As for coffee, have you been to Italy? The differences are real. There are various types of coffee drinks with “white” in them. Ordering “white coffee” is confusing as hell, my best guess would be that you’re ordering cocaine. If you want coffee with cream, that’s what you should order.

No-one, but NO-ONE, orders coffee with cream over here old boy. It's coffee with room for milk unless you're buying from some shit automated machine. Or if you're unfortunate enough to be in France, it's cafe au lait just to avoid confusion.

But do they order “white coffee”? That’s all I’m saying: why order something as vague as “white coffee” when what you’re really after is a coffee with cream (or “room for milk” or however the addendum is supposed to be said in your neck of the woods)? I get it, I’m not British. I’m very much fine with that.

I drink it black. I only order a coffee. If they ask if I want cream, I say “no just black.” The etiquette here is basically just that: either the server will ask if you want cream and sugar, or they will bring everything out together and let you stir it in how you like. But “white coffee”? Never heard of it until now. Would never think someone an “utter cunt” for guessing that I wanted a latte.

danishbacon · September 2023

Carlin covered some expressions and was already pissed off, back then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHhYLJMi7CE

swiller · September 2023

Cranky said:

Would never think someone an “utter cunt” for guessing that I wanted a latte.

Thats fair enough. LMAO. Thats a great response.

Thing is if i was in italy, or a local authentic italian UK coffee house i would (and do) have no probs with it.
But in UK/ big chains like starbucks/costa and a lot of UK chain food outlets.. where a basic white coffee is still embedded in every day UK life, be it office, home, cafes.. they "milk" it for maximum £ with fancy names and insist you order the correct name by correcting you with latte/americano etc.

For example.. coffee in breakfast cafes in UK which remains a british tradition, the most advance you may get is white/black or frothy (posh) on a coffee and its £1ish a cup. Tea is nothing fancy either with a good strong "builders" mug usually the way forward. They may put a cappucino on the menu and add £1 for just a sprinkling of hot chocolate powder.

TTony · September 2023

swiller said:
language gets right on my hampton these days..
A white cup of coffee please. "Latte"? NO, A FUCKING WHITE CUP OF COFFEE YOU FUKING MONUMENTAL CUNT!!!!!!! I get them to write it on the cup and say i wont accept a cup with latte or americano written on it.

I call CUP-RACIST.

What does it matter what colour the cup is? Coffee is coffee. Why do you insist that it's served in a *white* cup?

And I do like the irony that you're complaining about incorrect use of language with that as an example.

swiller · September 2023

TTony said:

I call CUP-RACIST.

What does it matter what colour the cup is? Coffee is coffee. Why do you insist that it's served in a *white* cup?

And I do like the irony that you're complaining about incorrect use of language with that as an example.

Thankyou, that means a lot on the irony.
From now on i will also ask the staff to colour the cup in a sunburst style so it represents a wider spectrum of skin colours.
Reading these threads is an education in itself, not just on guitars, but the wider aspects of life.

Dominic · September 2023

Cranky said:

Offset said:

Cranky said:

As for coffee, have you been to Italy? The differences are real. There are various types of coffee drinks with “white” in them. Ordering “white coffee” is confusing as hell, my best guess would be that you’re ordering cocaine. If you want coffee with cream, that’s what you should order.

No-one, but NO-ONE, orders coffee with cream over here old boy. It's coffee with room for milk unless you're buying from some shit automated machine. Or if you're unfortunate enough to be in France, it's cafe au lait just to avoid confusion.

But do they order “white coffee”? That’s all I’m saying: why order something as vague as “white coffee” when what you’re really after is a coffee with cream (or “room for milk” or however the addendum is supposed to be said in your neck of the woods)? I get it, I’m not British. I’m very much fine with that.

I drink it black. I only order a coffee. If they ask if I want cream, I say “no just black.” The etiquette here is basically just that: either the server will ask if you want cream and sugar, or they will bring everything out together and let you stir it in how you like. But “white coffee”? Never heard of it until now. Would never think someone an “utter cunt” for guessing that I wanted a latte.

I think the whole thing is a bit mis-understood because the coffee chain places have bastardised the correct Italian names and recipes ..........and made up their own interpretations.
Firstly ,there is no such thing as a Latte ........if you order a Latte in Italy you will be brought a glass of hot milk (nothing to do with coffee whatsoever ).Of course a Cappuccino is a fairly universal thing.
It would be quite rare in Italy or Spain to see a man drink a Cappuccino ......it's more of a Ladies drink but only for breakfast or at the latest 11 a.m.
Obviously there is Espresso ........and a Machiatto is an Espresso with a dash of milk foam on top .
In Spain there are unique coffees such as a Cortado which is a breakfast thing .....basically strong double Espresso but with the same amount of hot milk .
A plain coffee from a Cafetiere is a French version and could have milk added to be a basic white coffee as we would have called it in the 1970s.
Nobody drinks Coffee with cream unless it's floated atop a Coffee and Whisky in equal measure and called an Irish Coffee or floated with Rum and called a Calypso coffee ......these are strange inventions of Steak Houses and Carverys perpetuated to make unworldly people feel posh and important .
Finally we come to the best bit , Affogato ......an Italian dessert comprising a large scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream in a glass with a piping hot double Espresso poured over it eaten quickly with a spoon but absolutely heavenly when a shot of Ammaretto di Saronno is added .

Cranky · September 2023

Dominic said:

Cranky said:

Offset said:

Cranky said:

As for coffee, have you been to Italy? The differences are real. There are various types of coffee drinks with “white” in them. Ordering “white coffee” is confusing as hell, my best guess would be that you’re ordering cocaine. If you want coffee with cream, that’s what you should order.

No-one, but NO-ONE, orders coffee with cream over here old boy. It's coffee with room for milk unless you're buying from some shit automated machine. Or if you're unfortunate enough to be in France, it's cafe au lait just to avoid confusion.

But do they order “white coffee”? That’s all I’m saying: why order something as vague as “white coffee” when what you’re really after is a coffee with cream (or “room for milk” or however the addendum is supposed to be said in your neck of the woods)? I get it, I’m not British. I’m very much fine with that.

I drink it black. I only order a coffee. If they ask if I want cream, I say “no just black.” The etiquette here is basically just that: either the server will ask if you want cream and sugar, or they will bring everything out together and let you stir it in how you like. But “white coffee”? Never heard of it until now. Would never think someone an “utter cunt” for guessing that I wanted a latte.

I think the whole thing is a bit mis-understood because the coffee chain places have bastardised the correct Italian names and recipes ..........and made up their own interpretations.
Firstly ,there is no such thing as a Latte ........if you order a Latte in Italy you will be brought a glass of hot milk (nothing to do with coffee whatsoever ).Of course a Cappuccino is a fairly universal thing.
It would be quite rare in Italy or Spain to see a man drink a Cappuccino ......it's more of a Ladies drink but only for breakfast or at the latest 11 a.m.
Obviously there is Espresso ........and a Machiatto is an Espresso with a dash of milk foam on top .
In Spain there are unique coffees such as a Cortado which is a breakfast thing .....basically strong double Espresso but with the same amount of hot milk .
A plain coffee from a Cafetiere is a French version and could have milk added to be a basic white coffee as we would have called it in the 1970s.
Nobody drinks Coffee with cream unless it's floated atop a Coffee and Whisky in equal measure and called an Irish Coffee or floated with Rum and called a Calypso coffee ......these are strange inventions of Steak Houses and Carverys perpetuated to make unworldly people feel posh and important .
Finally we come to the best bit , Affogato ......an Italian dessert comprising a large scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream in a glass with a piping hot double Espresso poured over it eaten quickly with a spoon but absolutely heavenly when a shot of Ammaretto di Saronno is added .

Ok. So who do I gotta screw to get a fucking white cup of coffee around here? You fuking monumental cunt!!!!!!!

Tannin · September 2023

DefaultM said:

My 6 year old daughter keeps using the word 'literally'. It's been annoying me but it's not her fault, she only learns from hearing others. Then the other day she said that a car was 'literally on the road'.
That was one too far so I asked why she kept using that word and said where else would a car be?
I explained what literally means and said she's adding an extra unnecessary word to sentences. She understood, but now she still keeps saying it and then realises she's said it and gets confused with herself and apologises. So it seems like its been programmed in to her now.

Wow! You mean she literally apologised?

Tannin · September 2023

Re people who say "myself" when they mean "I".

Dominic said:

I'm not sure where that crept in ........is it an Americanism ?.....I don't think so ......spawned in some call centre somewhere and just a malapropism that caught on with telephone zombie drones
or is it Roadman street speak ?..........I don't know

Curiously enough, no, not an Americanism, though the Americans certainly are as guilty of it as people from other places.

Saying "myself" instead of "I" or "me" is a giveaway - not a subtle hint, a flashing great neon sign - that the speaker is a semi-bright try-hard.

He (or she, but he seems to be more common) is:

* just bright enough to have vaguely heard it around somewhere that saying "I" and "me" all the time sounds a bit self-centered
* but not bright enough to realise that "myself" is not in fact a synonym (it has a slightly different meaning),
* and certainly not bright enough to realise that brainlessly substituting "myself" for "I" or "me" betrays both self-centeredness (someone less self-conscious wouldn't think to do that) and poor language skills. It also demonstrates poor interpersonal skills - anyone who says "myself" (let alone "the undersigned") has not yet learned how to read the room.

In short, thinking that it is best to say "myself" instead of "I" or "me" is the linguistic equivalent of realising that asking that nice young typist at the office out to dinner might be a bit out of line and that it would be better to just discreetly send her a dick pic.

stevebrum · September 2023

GoFish said:

So, I reached out to the forum who.....

Yeah that one pisses me off. I do miss the odd game of bullshit bingo, it’s just not the same on a video call - you can’t really raise an eyebrow to your colleague sat opposite, the one who you know is also playing the game.

I miss the old days when we’d travel for an hour, claim mileage, to sit round a table for an hour, then travel back for an hour.

Damn covid and the associated efficiencies it brought about.

Cranky · September 2023

Tannin said:

Re people who say "myself" when they mean "I".

Dominic said:

I'm not sure where that crept in ........is it an Americanism ?.....I don't think so ......spawned in some call centre somewhere and just a malapropism that caught on with telephone zombie drones
or is it Roadman street speak ?..........I don't know

Curiously enough, no, not an Americanism, though the Americans certainly are as guilty of it as people from other places.

Saying "myself" instead of "I" or "me" is a giveaway - not a subtle hint, a flashing great neon sign - that the speaker is a semi-bright try-hard.

He (or she, but he seems to be more common) is:

* just bright enough to have vaguely heard it around somewhere that saying "I" and "me" all the time sounds a bit self-centered
* but not bright enough to realise that "myself" is not in fact a synonym (it has a slightly different meaning),
* and certainly not bright enough to realise that brainlessly substituting "myself" for "I" or "me" betrays both self-centeredness (someone less self-conscious wouldn't think to do that) and poor language skills. It also demonstrates poor interpersonal skills - anyone who says "myself" (let alone "the undersigned") has not yet learned how to read the room.

In short, thinking that it is best to say "myself" instead of "I" or "me" is the linguistic equivalent of realising that asking that nice young typist at the office out to dinner might be a bit out of line and that it would be better to just discreetly send her a dick pic.

Sporky · September 2023

Dominic said:

a Machiatto is an Espresso with a dash of milk foam on top .

That's an espresso macchiato. I was very sad once when someone interpreted "macchiato" to mean "latte macchiato" and brought me a huge glass of warm milk with a very sad single shot of espresso somewhere in the middle.

thecolourbox · September 2023

I asked for a coffee without cream in a cafe earlier. They said "Sorry we don't have any cream, would you like it without milk instead?"

Kittyfrisk · September 2023

Sporky said:

Dominic said:

a Machiatto is an Espresso with a dash of milk foam on top .

That's an espresso macchiato. I was very sad once when someone interpreted "macchiato" to mean "latte macchiato" and brought me a huge glass of warm milk with a very sad single shot of espresso somewhere in the middle.

Surely Dominic described the Macchiato accurately? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffè_macchiato

Sporky · September 2023

I think in general he did, but the risk of again getting one of these:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latte_macchiato

...has led me to be doubly clear since.

Dominic · September 2023

Cranky said:

Dominic said:

Cranky said:

Offset said:

Cranky said:

As for coffee, have you been to Italy? The differences are real. There are various types of coffee drinks with “white” in them. Ordering “white coffee” is confusing as hell, my best guess would be that you’re ordering cocaine. If you want coffee with cream, that’s what you should order.

No-one, but NO-ONE, orders coffee with cream over here old boy. It's coffee with room for milk unless you're buying from some shit automated machine. Or if you're unfortunate enough to be in France, it's cafe au lait just to avoid confusion.

But do they order “white coffee”? That’s all I’m saying: why order something as vague as “white coffee” when what you’re really after is a coffee with cream (or “room for milk” or however the addendum is supposed to be said in your neck of the woods)? I get it, I’m not British. I’m very much fine with that.

I drink it black. I only order a coffee. If they ask if I want cream, I say “no just black.” The etiquette here is basically just that: either the server will ask if you want cream and sugar, or they will bring everything out together and let you stir it in how you like. But “white coffee”? Never heard of it until now. Would never think someone an “utter cunt” for guessing that I wanted a latte.

I think the whole thing is a bit mis-understood because the coffee chain places have bastardised the correct Italian names and recipes ..........and made up their own interpretations.
Firstly ,there is no such thing as a Latte ........if you order a Latte in Italy you will be brought a glass of hot milk (nothing to do with coffee whatsoever ).Of course a Cappuccino is a fairly universal thing.
It would be quite rare in Italy or Spain to see a man drink a Cappuccino ......it's more of a Ladies drink but only for breakfast or at the latest 11 a.m.
Obviously there is Espresso ........and a Machiatto is an Espresso with a dash of milk foam on top .
In Spain there are unique coffees such as a Cortado which is a breakfast thing .....basically strong double Espresso but with the same amount of hot milk .
A plain coffee from a Cafetiere is a French version and could have milk added to be a basic white coffee as we would have called it in the 1970s.
Nobody drinks Coffee with cream unless it's floated atop a Coffee and Whisky in equal measure and called an Irish Coffee or floated with Rum and called a Calypso coffee ......these are strange inventions of Steak Houses and Carverys perpetuated to make unworldly people feel posh and important .
Finally we come to the best bit , Affogato ......an Italian dessert comprising a large scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream in a glass with a piping hot double Espresso poured over it eaten quickly with a spoon but absolutely heavenly when a shot of Ammaretto di Saronno is added .

Ok. So who do I gotta screw to get a fucking white cup of coffee around here? You fuking monumental cunt!!!!!!!

That's actually very close to the famous Princess Margaret Quote except it was 'to get a drink around here ' when walking into a party

Tannin · September 2023

@Cranky, I'm not sure what your point is but "Allow me to introduce myself" is perfectly acceptable English and has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

GuyR · September 2023

GoFish said:

So, I reached out to the forum who.....

Circled back around

Cranky · September 2023

Tannin said:

@Cranky, I'm not sure what your point is but "Allow me to introduce myself" is perfectly acceptable English and has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Tannin · September 2023

^ Still not sure what your point is.

Cranky · September 2023

Did you not read the post to which I was responding? The one about people who wrongly use “myself” instead of “me” or “I”?

Sheesh.

Tannin · September 2023

And your point is?

Cranky · September 2023

Ffs

jonnyburgo · September 2023

Is it actually? Do you actually? Did he actually? That's a biggie with the kids I work with.

boogieman · September 2023

On the coffee thing, decades ago one of the big chain restaurants decided that an Irish coffee should be rebranded as “Gaelic coffee”, probably in a bid to make it sound more sophisticated. My wife’s father, who died long before I met my wife and apparently wasn’t the best educated man, used to call it a “Garlic Coffee”. We still call it that as a tribute to him.

Similarly he had a stroke at one point which drastically affected his speech and meant he could never say some words correctly ever again. Therefore carrots are always “crappots” in our house.

Neil · September 2023

When you are ordering in a restaurant and the waiter says "perfect" to whatever is ordered.

roundthebend · September 2023

jonnyburgo said:

Is it actually? Do you actually? Did he actually? That's a biggie with the kids I work with.

I'm less offended by that kind of language. It seems perfectly good English, just a modern use of it. I get a bit "old man" about words being deliberately re-appropriated - recently I heard that "drip" can refer to how someone has chosen to style their attire. e.g. "Nice drip"

My original post was about how some people use language because they think it sounds more formal and professional, but all it really does is sound patronising or unauthentic. My wife has been saying "I was aware of this" when she's telling me some anecdotal thing. Makes her sound like an official Press Officer talking about an important public matter when all she's really saying is that the bin bag split open or something.

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