When your partner asks you……..

SimonC · August 2023

The question with no acceptable correct answer.

”Is this the fattest you’ve ever seen me?”

You can only lose.

fretmeister · August 2023

"no - But I love being a feeder so let's get the fridge open"

BillDL · August 2023

..... "No, you look fatter in a bikini".

..... "Everybody looks fatter lying down".

breakstuff · August 2023

"Yes, but not as fat as your mum"

munckee · August 2023

I don’t know pet there’s a fatty in the way I can’t see you!

RocknRollDave · August 2023

“To be honest, I was going to ask YOU the same thing. Have I put on weight, do you think?” would be a good way to turn it around.

strumjoughlamps · August 2023

"Are you asking this because I had to roll you in flour last night to locate the wet spot?"

Offset · August 2023

You could soften the blow a little, Sid The Sexist style:

"Well ye divvnt sweat much for a fat lass".

Axe_meister · August 2023

Yeah, maybe we should go on a diet together

GoFish · August 2023

It is the oldest I've ever seen you. Does that count?

Sporky · August 2023

"As long as you're spelling that with a PH, hell yes. Let's snuggle."

Dominic · August 2023

Axe_meister said:

Yeah, maybe we should go on a diet together

I did that ...........
Answer was " Speak for yourself....there you go controlling again ......just because you're fat you think you have to make everybody else join you and do what you want to do "
I don't mind but I'm not actually that fat

Blueingreen · August 2023

RocknRollDave said:

“To be honest, I was going to ask YOU the same thing. Have I put on weight, do you think?” would be a good way to turn it around.

To which the reply would inevitably be:

"Does everything have to be about you?"

Teetonetal · August 2023

SimonC said:

The question with no acceptable correct answer.

”Is this the fattest you’ve ever seen me?”

You can only lose.

Finally, I thought you were never going to ask...

drofluf · August 2023

“I’ll just go and ask on the guitar forum how I should answer”

Timcito · August 2023

I don't know - my wife wouldn't ask such a question if she didn't expect at least some recognition that she had gained weight. That said, I'd probably say something to the effect that she looked great, whatever.

DefaultM · August 2023

RocknRollDave said:

“To be honest, I was going to ask YOU the same thing. Have I put on weight, do you think?” would be a good way to turn it around.

I do similar. Immediately say yeah I thought I was as well, and turn it in to a thing where you've both been having a nice time together but maybe now you should eat better or do more exercise.
We obviously don't then do that though, we just carry on the same and then in another few months say we put weight on again.

LionAquaLooper · August 2023

When asked that question you just need to stop and think for a moment - "what would Jesus say?"

Fishboy7 · August 2023

I would just pretend to faint in these moments

relic245 · August 2023

Why would you want to look fatter, you're fuckin huge already!

DrCornelius · August 2023

The correct answer (or at least the one I use) is ‘you look bloody gorgeous as you well know !’

AK99 · August 2023

^ Smooth

Sassafras · August 2023

Yeah, especially when you wear jeggings and a crop-top you fat slag.

Offset · August 2023

"At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffett do?"

Dominic · August 2023

Offset said:

"At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffett do?"

Yay , Another Alan Jackson fan !
One of my all time favourites......I love the video of his gig where at that precise moment Jimmy Buffet comes on as a Guest and they carry on together singing 5 o'clock somewhere together
Incidentally ,I'm a huge Buffet fan too ......a Parrothead
I want to be Jimmy in my next life ........'living on Spongecake' and non-stop Margarita's ....the Mexican 'cuties' would be very welcome too ...........as well as the private Island and the sailboat /private plane/huge bank balance etc etc etc

Stratavarious · August 2023

Offset · August 2023

Dominic said:

Offset said:

"At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffett do?"

Yay , Another Alan Jackson fan !
One of my all time favourites......I love the video of his gig where at that precise moment Jimmy Buffet comes on as a Guest and they carry on together singing 5 o'clock somewhere together
Incidentally ,I'm a huge Buffet fan too ......a Parrothead
I want to be Jimmy in my next life ........'living on Spongecake' and non-stop Margarita's ....the Mexican 'cuties' would be very welcome too ...........as well as the private Island and the sailboat /private plane/huge bank balance etc etc etc

We took our daughter to Universal Studios in Florida 7 years ago when I was recovering from illness. Great fun but there was a Jimmy's 'Margaritaville' bar on the site which I would frequent when I'd had enough of rides and shopping. I sat there and swilled maggies and was serenaded by JB. That song featured frequently and I never tired of it. Fab memories.

* EDIT - the other great musical memory was 'Buy Me A Boat' by Chris Janson. It was totally ubiquitous when I was visiting friends in Nashville. Again, I've never tired of it.

DavidRees · August 2023

if you can't live without me then why aren't you dead?

Cranky · August 2023

LionAquaLooper said:

When asked that question you just need to stop and think for a moment - "what would Jesus say?"

He’d say — “Hey, fatty, that bread and fish was supposed to be for everybody. But . . . er . . . I forgive you.”

HAL9000 · August 2023

Hmmm, well let me stand back a bit so I can see all of you.

Philly_Q · August 2023

Offset said:

Dominic said:

Offset said:

"At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffett do?"

Yay , Another Alan Jackson fan !
One of my all time favourites......I love the video of his gig where at that precise moment Jimmy Buffet comes on as a Guest and they carry on together singing 5 o'clock somewhere together
Incidentally ,I'm a huge Buffet fan too ......a Parrothead
I want to be Jimmy in my next life ........'living on Spongecake' and non-stop Margarita's ....the Mexican 'cuties' would be very welcome too ...........as well as the private Island and the sailboat /private plane/huge bank balance etc etc etc

We took our daughter to Universal Studios in Florida 7 years ago when I was recovering from illness. Great fun but there was a Jimmy's 'Margaritaville' bar on the site which I would frequent when I'd had enough of rides and shopping. I sat there and swilled maggies and was serenaded by JB. That song featured frequently and I never tired of it. Fab memories.

Nearly 40 years ago when I first started work, I shared an office (when offices were dingy little rooms, not open plan) with a guy who was a big Jimmy Buffet fan. He looked a bit like Catweazle and never did any work, just used to sit there all day moaning about his ex-wife and telling me all about his record collection and his hi-fi system, which sounded much like a repurposed PA system once used by the Grateful Dead (he was also a big Deadhead).

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When your partner asks you……..

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