Your old school reports

Kittyfrisk · August 2023

Timcito said:

Kittyfrisk said:

Timcito said:

Sporky said:

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Yikes, can you not disagree respectfully without doing this? Tone it down a bit. I'm sure you're not as rude with your spouse/partner and friends as you are here.

To be fair, I don't think that anyone anywhere would be prepared to leave themselves vulnerable to such non regulated work related potential intimidation?

I guess it comes down to the old adage: Never wrestle in the mud with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig enjoys it.

I recognise the Mark Twain comment, but am still failing to see the wisdom in your initial point as it seems to be hidden beneath layers of cunning in a cunning manner.

Timcito · August 2023

Sporky said:

Timcito said:

Sporky said:

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Yikes, can you not disagree respectfully without doing this? Tone it down a bit. I'm sure you're not as rude with your spouse/partner and friends as you are here.

If you think that was rude, the Internet may not be for you.

Yes, I thought it was rude - an example of the brutishness that certain people give themselves permission to use when they're hiding behind the anonymity of usernames. If you spoke to people like that in real life, they'd punch your lights out.

Sporky · August 2023

Timcito said:

If you spoke to people like that in real life, they'd punch your lights out.

If you want to threaten me, do it properly.

Offset · August 2023

I went to the primary school at which the old man was headmaster.

He excluded me.

Shrews · August 2023

Offset said:

I went to the primary school at which the old man was headmaster.

He excluded me.

Did you mum exclude him when he got home?

swiller · August 2023

My 6th form pe ones most favourable, i was a tubby weeble.. along the lines of..
Swill would benefit from accepting PE is Physical Education and refraining from requesting a visit to the snooker club instead. He regularly brings in his dartboard into the common room, in place of his PE kit. If he took PE more seriously as a way to maintain fitness and general wellbeing, he may also stop doing quarterback throws every time he gets the ball on the rugby pitch.

Deadman · August 2023

Art. 1st year 1982.

”100%. A. A. Excellent”.

That was my peak in life. After that it was shit.

axisus · August 2023

My junior school ones often said that I was always daydreaming and staring out of the window instead of working. I have memories of looking aimlessly out the window and then realising that the teacher was shouting my name several times getting louder with each one.

High school used to say that I had ability but didn’t apply myself. This is correct. IQ of 141 but I never put any effort in to education at any point.

maharg101 · August 2023

One phrase sticks in the mind..

"Takes punishment well."

westford · August 2023

I can only really remember the comment from my maths teacher saying I would be lucky to pass my maths Higher. My brother’s girlfriend at the time was studying maths at uni, so my mum paid her to tutor me for a few weeks. She explained some things better than the teacher ever did. I got a B in the exam.

paulnb57 · August 2023

I was shit at any sport, so often skived off and spent the lesson on the beach under pier, smoking…this was reflected one year in my report which read

”In PE, Paul expends most of his energy by avoiding his teachers”

I still have that report book and it still makes me smile

Shrews · August 2023

This thread is like an ex-teacher whose self-publicised book has reached the top of the Amazon charts

"Why I became a teacher and left on the first day."

Dominic · August 2023

I had one big issue when I refused to let a Housemaster cane me for something I hadn't done .
He wrote on my report that I was a 'skulking coward ' and a 'deviant' .
Wanker !

Axe_meister · August 2023

Up until I was 10 I was always put down by my teachers (my parents had divorced and I went on strike education wise) but was never disruptive. They never concentrated on my strengths. That was in the UK.
When we moved to Germany and was put in a German school where they concentrated on my strengths (STEM), I was very much in the straight A for achievement but D/E/F for effort.
Funnily enough that always seems to be the outcome of my annual review at work.
High quality output, bit with a bit more effort could achieve at the highest level. (I don't really want to get to the next level).
What they don't know is the amount of time I put into automating my Job so I have to put even less effort into it.

Philly_Q · August 2023

I was quiet and swotty so my reports were always good, apart from PE where I probably had something like "satisfactory" just for turning up. In the sixth form I broke my wrist playing rugby and managed to skive off games for pretty much the whole of my remaining school career.

jonnyburgo · August 2023

I think all reports in the 70s ended with "Must try Harder"

mudslide73 · August 2023

Mine were similar to the majority here. At primary school I'm not ashamed to say I really missed being with my Mom* and couldn't see the point of me being there. At secondary there was so much uncontrolled bullying from kids and staff (early 80s) I just kept my head down. My reports were the standard "quite clever if he can be arsed". Ironically, I've worked in schools for the last 20 years. When I talk to younger colleagues about the casual violence and coat-downs you'd get from the older teachers they think I'm talking about the 19th century.

*West Midlands spelling.

EricTheWeary · August 2023

mudslide73 said:

Mine were similar to the majority here. At primary school I'm not ashamed to say I really missed being with my Mom* and couldn't see the point of me being there. At secondary there was so much uncontrolled bullying from kids and staff (early 80s) I just kept my head down. My reports were the standard "quite clever if he can be arsed". Ironically, I've worked in schools for the last 20 years. When I talk to younger colleagues about the casual violence and coat-downs you'd get from the older teachers they think I'm talking about the 19th century.

*West Midlands spelling.

I was making a joke with my son yesterday about getting The Bumps and he didn’t know what it meant. Bit of rough and tumble/ bullying on your birthday.

You could be sent to the deputy head for a caning when I was at school which was bizarre really. I have a feeling that your parents had to consent, I suspect mine would have but thankfully I never got to find out.

guitars4you · August 2023

EricTheWeary said:

mudslide73 said:

Mine were similar to the majority here. At primary school I'm not ashamed to say I really missed being with my Mom* and couldn't see the point of me being there. At secondary there was so much uncontrolled bullying from kids and staff (early 80s) I just kept my head down. My reports were the standard "quite clever if he can be arsed". Ironically, I've worked in schools for the last 20 years. When I talk to younger colleagues about the casual violence and coat-downs you'd get from the older teachers they think I'm talking about the 19th century.

*West Midlands spelling.

I was making a joke with my son yesterday about getting The Bumps and he didn’t know what it meant. Bit of rough and tumble/ bullying on your birthday.
You could be sent to the deputy head for a caning when I was at school which was bizarre really. I have a feeling that your parents had to consent, I suspect mine would have but thankfully I never got to find out.

We had to say thank you to the head masters cane after a couple of thwacks - He even had a name for the cane but can't recall what it was, even though I did get it a couple of times

SPECTRUM001 · August 2023

guitars4you said:

EricTheWeary said:

mudslide73 said:

Mine were similar to the majority here. At primary school I'm not ashamed to say I really missed being with my Mom* and couldn't see the point of me being there. At secondary there was so much uncontrolled bullying from kids and staff (early 80s) I just kept my head down. My reports were the standard "quite clever if he can be arsed". Ironically, I've worked in schools for the last 20 years. When I talk to younger colleagues about the casual violence and coat-downs you'd get from the older teachers they think I'm talking about the 19th century.

*West Midlands spelling.

I was making a joke with my son yesterday about getting The Bumps and he didn’t know what it meant. Bit of rough and tumble/ bullying on your birthday.
You could be sent to the deputy head for a caning when I was at school which was bizarre really. I have a feeling that your parents had to consent, I suspect mine would have but thankfully I never got to find out.

We had to say thank you to the head masters cane after a couple of thwacks - He even had a name for the cane but can't recall what it was, even though I did get it a couple of times

When I was at Primary School it was the slipper and at Secondary; the cane.

Just crazy how many lashings were given out for absolutely nothing.

Rather like the kid in ‘Kes’ who’s simply delivering a note to the Headmaster !!

SpoonMan · August 2023

Deadman said:

Art. 1st year 1982.

”100%. A. A. Excellent”.

That was my peak in life. After that it was shit.

I loved drawing when I was a kid and, not wanting to blow my own bugle, was pretty good at it. I spent most of my time in other classes doodling.
In art class though I was always marked down for "not doing what I was asked us to do."
If things weren't done in pencil or charcoal she wasn't interested. I got my inspiration from skateboard mags and things like that and preferred using ink. For example, one of the first assignments was to draw a flower. The teacher said it could be any type of flower and we could even make something up. When I showed her my drawing, a flower, a bit like a vagina with teeth and a tongue sticking out she told me to do it again. So I went away and scribbled something down in a more" arty" style in a few seconds and ended up getting top marks, even though I was purposely being ironic.

That really knocked my confidence and I pretty much gave it up around that time.

Was very similar in music. The music teacher was horrible and I had no interest in playing right said Fred on a disgusting recorder.

rogd · August 2023

11 Plus (failed twice)
13 Plus (failed Twice)
GCE's None.
HNC Electronics. After a Secondary Modern school!!

Shrews · August 2023

Just thinking about 'norms' back in eighties school life. Yes, teachers would regularly throw chalk, blackboard wipers and even kick chairs at you. Kids would say some truly awful stuff to each other unchallenged.

There was a hierarchy of tough kids down to weaklings, and good looking kids to ugly ones. Older kids would kick shit out of you until you had your growth spurt aged 13/14 and then they thought twice.

In our school we had a cinder gravel training pitch for football. It was like a cheese grater. Legs constantly scabbed up and nobody batted an eyelid, including kids, teachers and parents.

Showers after P.E were shared with teachers with their todgers out. Girls complained the female P.E teachers would watch them. Pedo's paradise.

If you did something wrong in P.E you would need to 'run the gauntlet' in the last 5 minutes of the lesson. Basically the kids would would sit down either side and you would need to run through them whilst getting battered with their training shoes (pumps!). Not too bad if you got through it, but you were fucked if you fell.

Then the TB vaccination which would painfully scab up and other kids would try to knock it off. Bloody painful when they did.

The yearly medical in primary school, where you had to stand naked in front of some doctor and nurse. WTF was all that about?

School life in the 70's/80's. It's a wonder we didn't all leave with PTSD. And if that's not bad enough our parents told even worse stories.

Oh yeah, and you dreaded it if you were ever sat next to the school bully, especially in chemistry or anywhere where there was a bunsen burner.

jonnyburgo · September 2023

Shrews said:

Just thinking about 'norms' back in eighties school life. Yes, teachers would regularly throw chalk, blackboard wipers and even kick chairs at you. Kids would say some truly awful stuff to each other unchallenged.

There was a hierarchy of tough kids down to weaklings, and good looking kids to ugly ones. Older kids would kick shit out of you until you had your growth spurt aged 13/14 and then they thought twice.

In our school we had a cinder gravel training pitch for football. It was like a cheese grater. Legs constantly scabbed up and nobody batted an eyelid, including kids, teachers and parents.

Showers after P.E were shared with teachers with their todgers out. Girls complained the female P.E teachers would watch them. Pedo's paradise.

If you did something wrong in P.E you would need to 'run the gauntlet' in the last 5 minutes of the lesson. Basically the kids would would sit down either side and you would need to run through them whilst getting battered with their training shoes (pumps!). Not too bad if you got through it, but you were fucked if you fell.

Then the TB vaccination which would painfully scab up and other kids would try to knock it off. Bloody painful when they did.

The yearly medical in primary school, where you had to stand naked in front of some doctor and nurse. WTF was all that about?

School life in the 70's/80's. It's a wonder we didn't all leave with PTSD. And if that's not bad enough our parents told even worse stories.

Oh yeah, and you dreaded it if you were ever sat next to the school bully, especially in chemistry or anywhere where there was a bunsen burner.

There was one lad in our school in the showers every week after PE, he had a full on man penis and hairy sack. Now I think about it I never saw him in any other lessons.

Open_G · September 2023

My favourite comment in retrospect was “Clive has a rather Cavalier attitude to schoolwork.” I didn’t really understand it at the time and my mum particularly went ballistic. Looking back my work quality at school was completely proportional to the quality of the teacher.

Rob1742 · September 2023

Looking at my old school reports, the section where my music teacher should have commented and signed was only signed so basically he didn’t give any feedback.

In fairness he was probably too busy collecting girls urine from the toilets where he would have broken the cistern so they couldn’t flush it away. He was also busy storing bananas in freezers that he put under cushions before getting his students to sit on and squash them.

He got 9 months in prison for the above when his wife found his banana stash and labelled jars of urine.

Proper weirdo he was, walked with a constant limp, we all thought he had a bad leg.

Shrews · September 2023

Rob1742 said:

Proper weirdo he was, walked with a constant limp, we all thought he had a bad leg.

Probably all the jars of girls piss stuffed in his pocket.

Fingers657 · September 2023

Always excels at sports .
Academically was always he Could do better.
We never heard of Dyslexia in the UK until 1976
ADAD in adults 2008 .

Sporky · September 2023

My parents refused to believe that I was very quiet at school.

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