Your old school reports

guitars4you · August 2023

Found some old school reports - To be honest they never really changed from day one, be it junior school or secondary school

Mark must try harder - Mark is a quite boy yet always at the centre of mischief - Mark has the ability to do better bet seldom appears to want to do so - Mark has some intelligence in there but is reluctant to show it

First year at secondary school - Those first exams in Dec, so only 3 months after you've started - 48% in French - Came last in the class and 48% was the best I ever did - And Music I got 98% and did not get the top spot - I'd played trumpet for about 3/4 years - From a musical family so thought I'd nail this one - Yet the 2 brainiacs, who did not even play an instrument, got 100% - Was gutted

blobb · August 2023

Remember a teacher called me 'Flippant' in one report, I'd never heard the word before so I didn't take it seriously.

rze99 · August 2023

My Housemaster:

"A bright and likable lad who could have done extremely well with more effort, but it seems he was not too bothered himself".

strumjoughlamps · August 2023

Mine are consistent from teachers.

"When focused David is always top of his class"

"Easily distracted"

"Needs to focus more"

Shrews · August 2023

My school reports would have read something like:

Primary School - switched on, enjoys studying, excelling at English, maths and especially Geography. Popular in class with excellent behaviour

Grammar School (following 11+ success) - a very disappointing first year spent mainly looking out of the window, disengaged and troublesome. Absenteeism borderline acceptable. Little apparent ability shown in maths, English and most subjects. Seems to enjoy playing football, the only time he is seen with a smile on his face.

Now, if I was the headmaster, I would have rang my primary school up for a copy of my last report and compared the two. Then I would have concluded that:

"My teaching staff are a bunch of cunts."

nero1701 · August 2023

"Despite being caught selling cigarettes,photocopying and distributing pornography and selling pirated video game cassettes, Christopher shows little mathematical interest or ability"

Strangely...I went on to study electronic engineering and further math

EricTheWeary · August 2023

I have a couple somewhere. The main thing I remember really is a an okay/middling grade for PE/sport whereas I was clearly crap and uninterested. Wether the teacher was being kind or just couldn't remember me I'll never know.
For 11-13 I discovered that my English teacher was my cousin's boyfriend (she was a teacher elsewhere) so my grades in English were very generous for two years.

Sporky · August 2023

One of mine had "Sporky shows little to no interest in lessons or homework, but is irritatingly good at exams".

SPECTRUM001 · August 2023

Sporky said:

One of mine had "Sporky shows little to no interest in lessons or homework, but is irritatingly good at exams".

Ah, I was always jealous of those that seemingly did no work, but sailed through with top grades.

I tried it, but to no avail.

I remember my school reports being entirely non-eventful. At best I got a ‘he seems to like Art, but isn’t particularly gifted’. At least that gave me a retaliatory mindset…

guitars4you · August 2023

nero1701 said:

"Despite being caught selling cigarettes,photocopying and distributing pornography and selling pirated video game cassettes, Christopher shows little mathematical interest or ability"

Strangely...I went on to study electronic engineering and further math

Yours math's ability must have been okay flogging such illicit paraphernalia - There is an episode in The Wire whereby the ex cop, turned teacher, teaches the kids maths by wheeling n dealing in drug deals, for a better understanding

Sporky · August 2023

SPECTRUM001 said:

Sporky said:

One of mine had "Sporky shows little to no interest in lessons or homework, but is irritatingly good at exams".

Ah, I was always jealous of those that seemingly did no work, but sailed through with top grades.

It didn't always work!

slacker · August 2023

Mainly could try harder which completely missed the point that I was trying very hard all the time and if even if just one of the teachers had bothered they might have diagnosed me with developmental dyslexia.still have a decent job though.

My daughter had a similar experience which didn't stop her getting two degrees and having two careers first as a photographer and second as a special needs teacher after leaving school with poor results.

My wife also left school with nothing two degrees professional job.

All of the above goes to show that education is pointless unless you fit their narrow view you are a try harder.

scrumhalf · August 2023

A contemporary of my brother added a comma to a report and completely changed it.

From: "works hard and with a lot of effort should do well"

To: "works hard and with a lot of effort, should do well"

Genius.

Dominic · August 2023

My brother was not a good student.
He played truant perpetually. This was completely unknown to my parents until the end of term report which read ;
" Damon sounds like a very interesting young man .......I look forward to meeting him one day "
My father went berserk.

SpoonMan · August 2023

Mine were generally of the "could do better" variety.
I remember one I was really chuffed about that said I was "a leader not a follower".....although it was talking about misconduct in the classroom

My attendance was one of the worst but unlike Dominic's brother my parents never really said anything. Denial maybe. Turns out I had/have ADHD, but it wasn't something that was considered back then.

BillDL · August 2023

I wish I had hung onto all my old school reports and jotters that I had for about 10 years after leaving school. It would be interesting to look back at them again. Through primary and junior school I was always reported as being a good and responsive pupil that applied himself and I won a few awards for poetry and prose, but by the time I reached secondary school I was already typecast by a couple of teachers that had taught my older brother who was reported as having a lethargic and argumentative attitude to authority that belied his actual academic qualities. I did do quite well and the reports from teachers were always pretty good. When my young brother was in his 2nd year of primary school one of the teachers had commented at a parent-teacher meeting that she felt he was a little bit "slow" and should perhaps be allowed to remain behind by a year (he started at 4 rather than 5) for him to catch up. He had apparently stood up on the chair or table a couple of times and spun around as though he had an attention deficit. One of the other teachers disagreed and he was allowed to continue normally. He went on to gain a couple of honours degrees and a PhD in technical subjects. My educational path, on the other hand, was interrupted due to moving continents at a crucial time and it detrimentally affected my career path. I'm sure I would have been a genius (as Jim Croce talks about in Working At The Carwash Blues)

Image: https://www.thefretboard.co.uk/plugins/EmojiExtender/emoji/fb/3.gif

Timcito · August 2023

Probably the worst comment of all was the one-word 'Satisfactory.' It likely meant that they barely knew who you were!.

boogieman · August 2023

Timcito said:

Probably the worst comment of all was the one-word 'Satisfactory.' It likely meant that they barely knew who you were!.

A couple of mates are or were teachers. I remember one saying he hated writing end of year reports: “trying to find 30 different ways of saying ‘average’ is bloody hard”.

I’ve still got a few of mine, they all basically say what I already knew. “Boogie is fairly smart. If he got his head down and studied he could achieve much more than he actually does, but he’s a lazy bastard who can’t be bothered ”.

Shrews · August 2023

In the gradings did anyone ever steam open the envelope and change their E's to B's? I fooled my parents a couple of times with that.

You couldn't do it where the teacher had written 'fcking useless' beside it, but where there was no comment or 'disappointing but there is hope' it was a possibility for deception. Besides, we were always given ours on the very last day and therefore no chance my parents would call the school up to check.

In hindsight this might have also been a ploy by my useless teachers. Don't want bloody parents calling us up when we're on our quadbikes in Marbella.

Timcito · August 2023

boogieman said:

Timcito said:

Probably the worst comment of all was the one-word 'Satisfactory.' It likely meant that they barely knew who you were!.

A couple of mates are or were teachers. I remember one saying he hated writing end of year reports: “trying to find 30 different ways of saying ‘average’ is bloody hard”.

I’ve still got a few of mine, they all basically say what I already knew. “Boogie is fairly smart. If he got his head down and studied he could achieve much more than he actually does, but he’s a lazy bastard who can’t be bothered ”.

I wonder how wise the routine of report writing is. Sure, if a teacher has a relatively small number of students, they could devote detailed written attention to each one in this way. But when each teacher has hundreds? It does not seem realistic to me to expect teachers to make a seriously good job of it, and anyway, the score each student gets is a reasonable enough indication as to relative success or failure.

If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours? This would be on-the-spot and relevant to the student when something can be done before the course ends. It would also mean that the empty and tiresome comments teachers have tp make about 'doing-okay-but-nothing-spectacular' kinds of students could be avoided.

munckee · August 2023

I never read them just threw them in the bin then beat up the teachers for being grasses.

holnrew · August 2023

My geography teacher added a handwritten note to my glowing printed report say how lazy I am, because I didn't revise and still did well in a test or something.

Being undiagnosed autistic though I had a LOT of "very intelligent but doesn't apply himself"

Sporky · August 2023

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Dav275 · August 2023

Not one of mine, but on a notoriously lazy classmates report, one teacher wrote "Michael retired at a very early age!"

Lewy · August 2023

Quote from my primary school maths report. The only thing written:

'If Lewis wishes to pass wind he should do so outside'

chris78 · August 2023

Sporky said:

One of mine had "Sporky shows little to no interest in lessons or homework, but is irritatingly good at exams".

One of my favourites was 3rd year at secondary school when my history teacher commented that I’d done “surprisingly well” in the exam - I got one of the best results in the year.

He was a terrible teacher who bored me to death and failed to notice I adored and was damned good at his subject. He thought I was a dosser.

Timcito · August 2023

Sporky said:

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Yikes, can you not disagree respectfully without doing this? Tone it down a bit. I'm sure you're not as rude with your spouse/partner and friends as you are here.

viz · August 2023

rze99 said:

My Housemaster:

"A bright and likable lad who could have done extremely well with more effort, but it seems he was not too bothered himself".

And what did he say about you?

Kittyfrisk · August 2023

Timcito said:

Sporky said:

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Yikes, can you not disagree respectfully without doing this? Tone it down a bit. I'm sure you're not as rude with your spouse/partner and friends as you are here.

To be fair, I don't think that anyone anywhere would be prepared to leave themselves vulnerable to such non regulated work related potential intimidation?

Timcito · August 2023

Kittyfrisk said:

Timcito said:

Sporky said:

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Yikes, can you not disagree respectfully without doing this? Tone it down a bit. I'm sure you're not as rude with your spouse/partner and friends as you are here.

To be fair, I don't think that anyone anywhere would be prepared to leave themselves vulnerable to such non regulated work related potential intimidation?

I guess it comes down to the old adage: Never wrestle in the mud with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig enjoys it.

Sporky · August 2023

Timcito said:

Sporky said:

Timcito said:
If parents want more in-depth feedback about their child, why not let them contact the teachers during their non-teaching hours?

Gosh yes, I bet the teachers would be all in favour of being permanently on call for gunship parents.

Yikes, can you not disagree respectfully without doing this? Tone it down a bit. I'm sure you're not as rude with your spouse/partner and friends as you are here.

If you think that was rude, the Internet may not be for you.

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Your old school reports

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