Band monogamy

paulphoenix · March 2022

What's everyone's view on this?

I'm definitely a one band only kind of guy. For me personally, I feel that it is best to give all your time, effort and musical energy to just one project at time.

Obviously, there are many that are seemingly happy and able (somehow) to be in multiple bands at once.

I have been rehearsing with a band for the last 9 months. A couple of the members (husband and wife) had alluded to contributing to other projects (without ever confirming definitively). We had a bit of a lull after Christmas with no rehearsals (partly my fault plus some bass player problems) but whenever I contacted them to ask, they both confirmed they were still keen once we found a new bass player. Then literally a day after our most recent message exchange they're both all over FB promoting their (other) new bands' first 3 gigs.

This left me feeling a little disenchanted, and that I should back away from (or scrap) our project to let them establish and concentrate on their new band. Both are great musicians and cool peeps and we have several mutual friends (which is how we were introduced).

Those of you that are in multiple bands (and I don't mean just occasional depping) - do you actively contribute to promotion/marketing, getting gigs, arranging rehearsals/man management as well as the social and friendship side etc..in each band or do you just turn up and play? Maybe it's different for each band you play in? What about conflicts of interests/gigging schedules?

p90fool · March 2022

I've been in four bands at once before now, but have made it clear to all of them which one is my priority, and have arranged deps (which I spent time training) for the others.

I have no idea how you'd make a living from only one band in the UK tbh, I needed to gig at least three nights a week and most single semi pro bands can't or won't.

Now I have a part time day job I'm happy with one paying band and some creative but poorly paid side projects.

Musicwolf · March 2022

Since retiring from the day job, just before the pandemic, I’ve joined a second band. This is the first time that I’ve played in two bands (they are both covers bands). I’m currently gigging around 3 times per month and it’s a 2:1 ratio of new to old band. In the old band I’m the strongest musician, in the new one the standard is much higher and I need to work harder to keep up (I’ll always be the second best guitarist out of two).

In the old band we’re all retired, new band everyone else works (losers). I’m happily doing 90% of the off the field work for the new band. Dealing with the agent / venues, setting up and maintaining the website and social media, managing the finances etc plus all the technical work. In the old band I still do a little more than my share.

Booking wise both bands use the BandMule app to show our availability and gigs go to which ever band takes the booking first. The agent that I use books both bands and I leave it up to her which band she chooses for a particular gig. There have been very few occasions that I’ve had to turn a gig down for one band because I’m already booked with the other. I’ve certainly turned more bookings down because somebody else isn’t available due to other activities.

fastonebaz · March 2022

I've always been a one band guy so I can devote my time energy focus and creativity to that project. However I have been flirting with the idea of another band to double chances of gigging. In bit yet sure how booking conflicts will go but let's see...

digitalscream · March 2022

I was in two bands for a while, until recently. I'm just no good at it - rather than being a useful member of both, I was just being completely passive in both bands and coasting along without any enthusiasm.

Quitting one has allowed me to enjoy the other, so...yeah, definitely the right thing for me.

However, in my now-only band, three of the others are in two bands each. When we finally start to ramp up the gigs, that's going to be...interesting. Of course, that assumes we are going to ramp up; as things currently stand, we've played three gigs in the last few months and I've been really ill for a week or two after each one. Not sure that's particularly sustainable...

lustycourtier · March 2022

Im currently down to 3 but have one main (tribute) that takes priority.

Its actually temporarily 4, as I got a call to cover 14 gigs in next 6 weeks for a friends covers band whos guitarist hurt his back, but thatll end same weekend tribute festivals start for Shed Heaven.

Im always organised (know my stuff, and always first at gig/rehearsal), and literally left a very well paying band recently due to the lack of professionalism and time keeping (on stage and off) of the bassist.

DefaultM · April 2022

I've been in 4 at once before and it was alright. I just did it first come first served, if I got asked if I could do a date but I had another gig id just say no I'm busy.

Danny1969 · April 2022

I've always been in at least 3 bands. 2016 to 2018 was the worse when I was actively gigging in 6 different bands, balancing the calendar was a bit tricky. I played one festival in 4 of them once. It was mainly down to money, I was basically living off gig money so took every gig I was offered.
Now I'm only gigging in 2 and writing and recording with a 3rd which is a lot easier to balance

Majorscale · April 2022

I’m in three bands, simply because I love playing music and all three have different repertoires. I’ve been in my main band for 10 years and whilst still good fun and done well, it’s all cover band fodder and a bit pub rock. Whilst audiences love us, I needed to branch out musically so found a soul and funk band. Then the chance appeared to play in a more modern “female fronted pop covers” band appeared and so here I am.

It can be hard work learning and keeping on top of all the material whilst juggling rehearsals and gigs, but it can be done and I enjoy having such different styles of music to play.

All the bands know about each other and as far as gigs go, it’s first come first served. Works fine.

TheBigDipper · April 2022

I'm monogamous. I've never been in a band that was anything other than for fun - even if we're gigging and getting paid, it's still for fun and not for income. One band is enough for me.

I find it quite frustrating if/when the only person who can't make a date (again!) is the guy in 2-3 bands as well as us. That has included having gigs blown out because they're now booked for a paid job somewhere else - and I understand the conflict, just don't like being affected by it. My leisure activity is just as important as their work activity.

So now I only play with other monogamous people (as far as I can tell, anyway!).

Rowby1 · April 2022

I’m in three bands. A number of the other players in all three also play in other bands. I assumed that was quite normal…..it has seemed to be for me for many years.

Dates are first come first served basis, any cockups diary wise it’s the cockee that sorts the dep generally.

Seems to mostly work without a problem but does rely on there being no twats in any of the three bands.

firepaulmusic · April 2022

I’m in a 5-piece tribute band but there is also a 3-piece covers band containing me and two members of the tribute. This works really well. I also do solo gigs when the others aren’t available so it’s good all round...

Gulliver · April 2022

I'm currently in 2 (covers band and acoustic duo) but have been approached about some other opportunities. I'm happy to play in any of them, I don't like playing favourites so I make it really clear that my rule is and always will be - whoever books my time first gets it.

LastMantra · April 2022

If the other members need to book you for a gig are you actually in a band?

TheBigDipper · April 2022

LastMantra said:

If the other members need to book you for a gig are you actually in a band?

This resonates with me.

I went to a gig last Thursday. The headline act were a Dorchester-based band called Cee Luna, playing originals. I could sense a "gang" mentality between them and see the fun they were having playing their music together - mistakes and all. That connection just isn't present at a gig much of the time. The musicians often seem to be doing a job (often flawlessly) but not really connecting with each other. I don't like that as much.

And if anyone from Cee Luna is on here - you were great and your raw live sound is better than your studio sound. :-)

EricTheWeary · April 2022

I think there’s something about what you contribute to a band. In my case in my last band most of the organisational stuff plus some mediocre guitar playing. Our keyboard player was in multiple bands, our drummer did other stuff but what they brought to the party was better musicianship. But the time taken to organise any gigs plus bits of social media, never mind actually playing unless someone had been looking for a mediocre guitarist I can’t see how I could have fitted in another band (plus work, family, keeping up with Emp Fab’s car search, etc).

Danny1969 · April 2022

EricTheWeary said:

I think there’s something about what you contribute to a band. In my case in my last band most of the organisational stuff plus some mediocre guitar playing. Our keyboard player was in multiple bands, our drummer did other stuff but what they brought to the party was better musicianship. But the time taken to organise any gigs plus bits of social media, never mind actually playing unless someone had been looking for a mediocre guitarist I can’t see how I could have fitted in another band (plus work, family, keeping up with Emp Fab’s car search, etc).

It's also about how many other musos you know as well I think. I lead a fairly insular gigging life in a smallish pool of rock musicians until I ran the studio. Then I met a huge range of different bands, did a load of dep work and got asked to join quite a few. The more bands you play with, the faster you learn songs.

I would say though, my greatest skill as a band member has been keeping the bands van MOT'ed and road worthy on a shoe string budget. Mechanical, welding and electronics, whatever is needed I will generally do it myself rather than let it come out of gig money.

Stratavarious · April 2022

It is tricky,

I was over invested and monogamous and we were getting loads of gigs and a great rep.. but three of the other members had crappy hobby bands they kept going.. then the clashes started and then the far out booking of their band meaning loads of unavailability or ‘can’t confirm’ for NY etc.

You are either in it to make it work… or all in various bands and it ticks over as a low level free for all.

If some are all in and some are not, it is unbalanced and hard to reconcile.

CaseOfAce · April 2022

One band is more than enough for me - we've actually started having a rehearsal or so each month (!) on top of gigs at weekends.
I just wouldn't have the energy or indeed inclination to do anymore on top of that!

PolarityMan · April 2022

I played drums in a band for a while as a side project, neither were massively busy gig wise so wasn't an issue. Both originals projects.

That was pre kids though and before I stepped up the productions of the main band so doubt I'd have time for it now.

lustycourtier · April 2022

Im in 4 but dep for others too. I dont like sitting still.

digitalscream · April 2022

Well, it looks like my band's about to fold because of this. The drummer, singer and bassist are all in other bands, and to give you an idea...it's taken two weeks for the singer and the drummer to get the calendar up to date. The bassist doesn't have a computer, and it's apparently too hard to do it on a phone because her other bands use BAND.us for the calendar...and, because she's in at least two other bands, she's busy most weekends anyway.

The other guitarist has now got bored with playing guitar and bought himself a new camera and is busy booking up photo shoots every weekend (yet still hasn't organised the one for his own band).

Oh, and I've just discovered that the singer's away at least two, sometimes three weeks of each month with work.

The result of all this is that there isn't a single month until August where we can actually get a gig and a rehearsal within weeks of each other.

But, of course, they're all pissing and moaning that we haven't got any gigs booked...which was the reason for me badgering them to update the calendar two bloody weeks ago.

I'm genuinely losing the will to do anything with it. Fighting musicians to be able to play music is the total opposite of fun. I always said that I'd stop playing in bands if there was no prospect of even vague success by the time I was 45.

Turned 45 yesterday.

UPDATE: Band collapsed due to the other guitarist being a whiny dickhead about it and me losing patience with him. Feel significantly better than I thought I would, actually.

mudslide73 · April 2022

I think it can effect the amount of homework you can do if the material isn't compatible. I used to really struggle when I had two new 40 song sets to learn. It's OK once you're adding 3 or 4 at a time. I'm just down to one covers band with a very big setlist now.

TheBigDipper · April 2022

digitalscream said:

Well, it looks like my band's about to fold because of this. The drummer, singer and bassist are all in other bands, and to give you an idea...it's taken two weeks for the singer and the drummer to get the calendar up to date. The bassist doesn't have a computer, and it's apparently too hard to do it on a phone because her other bands use BAND.us for the calendar...and, because she's in at least two other bands, she's busy most weekends anyway.

The other guitarist has now got bored with playing guitar and bought himself a new camera and is busy booking up photo shoots every weekend (yet still hasn't organised the one for his own band).

Oh, and I've just discovered that the singer's away at least two, sometimes three weeks of each month with work.

The result of all this is that there isn't a single month until August where we can actually get a gig and a rehearsal within weeks of each other.

But, of course, they're all pissing and moaning that we haven't got any gigs booked...which was the reason for me badgering them to update the calendar two bloody weeks ago.

I'm genuinely losing the will to do anything with it. Fighting musicians to be able to play music is the total opposite of fun. I always said that I'd stop playing in bands if there was no prospect of even vague success by the time I was 45.

Turned 45 yesterday.

UPDATE: Band collapsed due to the other guitarist being a whiny dickhead about it and me losing patience with him. Feel significantly better than I thought I would, actually.

45? You're just coming into your prime! Happy birthday, BTW...

Not for you specifically, but in general, I have a book called "Bandalism", written by Julian Ridgway in 2007. It's quite funny and describes all the ways you (collectively) can "vandalise" your own band. For those, like me and digitalscream, who like banging their heads against brick walls yet hate it at the same time, it can be a humorous rebalancing for your soul.

Lestratcaster · April 2022

Have normally been a one-man-band whenever I played in them for 15 years. A couple of members were in other bands but this made it hard to get together to rehearse and play shows as availability was hard to match up as well documented in other posts on here. Also alot if not all had full time jobs then would use the weekends to spend with gf's/wives etc meaning the only real time was in the evenings for about 1.5 hours. The last band I played in we were under management and one guy was in 2 bands, one show was double booked (which I incidentally had to fill in for) and they got a bit funny about it. Think that was the only show that clashed. For some people they have to play in multiple bands across different genres or covers bands for income. None of the bands I played in was for money. Just enjoyment.

horse · April 2022

When I joined a.slightly more serious tribute band a few years back, they were ok with me doing other things, but the agreement was that everybody had to keep Friday and Saturday nights free for that band, apart from up the 4 weeks away. E.g. if I didn't have a tribute gig in my diary, I could play another gig on a Saturday in 3 or 4 weeks time. I did get fired by one other band for agreeing to that, but as I told them - they have gigs and it pays well...

One solution where logistics take the fun out of playing is to do different things - I play in a monthly funk jam at a rehearsal studio - 3 hour session, sociable, fun and no strings or frustrations around gig arrangements etc. I love it

koneguitarist · May 2022

I’ve always been a one band man, yet have always depped in other bands. Priority was always my band though.

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories

In this Discussion

Become a Subscriber!

Band monogamy

Comments