REAL Rules For Playing Live...?

RocknRollDave · March 2014

Following on from the thread with the lighthearted/ spoof "Rules For Playing Live" - http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/10207/rules-for-playing-live/p1 - I thought it would be interesting to hear what your REAL rules for playing live would be.

I'll start off with some obvious ones, but please join in:

1. Guitarists/ Bassists..USE A TUNER. No excuses.

2. Keep gaps between songs to a minimum. Yes, by all means talk to the audience - in fact, I'd say this was essential - but don't jabber on endlessly or spend an age swapping guitars/ finding your place in your lyric book/ retuning..etc etc. If you have to do these things, do it quickly. Be prepared! Metallica are the worst for this. I saw Foo Fighters play for 2 hours and they were bang, bang, bang from one song to the next, and DG still had time for witty banter. Metallica have gaps between songs that you could fit half of The Ramones' entire set into

Your turn!

not_the_dj · March 2014

Do not discuss breaking strings on an internet forum....guess what happened on Sat @RocknRollDave...

RocknRollDave · March 2014

Uh-oh!
I knew we had jinxed it!

I haven't had a gig since then, next gig is Saturday...I shall make sure my spare strings are close to hand...

octatonic · March 2014

No vocalists screaming "Thankyou Droitwich" (or wherever you are) in a 'metal voice' unless you are actually in Steel Panther.

EricTheWeary · March 2014

Always have a wee before you start.

As an addendum to Dave's point 2 there should always be something happening so if its a technical reason why you can't be making music then that's the time to start talking to the audience. Or do something that bypasses that problem. I saw Sherman Robertson once (actually I saw him twice but that's by the by) and his keyboard player's keyboard died mid set. Sherman plus bassist and drummer went into an impromptu jam on a couple of Stevie Ray Vaughan numbers whilst the keyboard was put away and an upright piano rolled across from the other end of the pub. Dealing with it in this way got a better response than the rehearsed numbers were doing up to that point.

Look interested. If you look bored or more interested in something on your pedal board or to side of stage than you are with what's happening in the gig then that sends out a clear message to the audience that your band ( presumably its hard to focus elsewhere if you are a solo performer!) aren't interesting.Smiling doesn't hurt ( although not during that epic ballad about the death of your labrador).
:o3

guitarfishbay · March 2014

octatonic said:

No vocalists screaming "Thankyou Droitwich" (or wherever you are) in a 'metal voice' unless you are actually in Steel Panther.

Hello Cleveland is totally allowed from backstage though.

ESBlonde · March 2014

Have a spare cable and mains lead out ready.
Spare Strings to hand too.
Smile.
Make sure your gear is up to the job.
You are there to entertain.
Smile.

Cirrus · March 2014

Ok, here's one that I feel strongly about

- Turn getting on and off stage into a military operation, especially on multi band bills. Learn how to stack your gear backstage so that it's a) not in everyone else's way and b) accessible in the order you want to get to stuff. When it's your turn to get on stage, learn how to do it fucking fast. If someone has a simple set up, they should help the drummer when they've sorted themselves out. Under no circumstances should band-related people be milling about looking lost and confused.

After your set, don't wonder round chatting to people. Finish the last song, take a bow, say thanks, and IMMEDIATELY move out. Get your gear off stage before you start wrapping cables neatly etc. The first objective is to clear the stage. Once you're out of the way of the next band you can start to chat to the fans.

steamabacus · March 2014

Cirrus said:

Ok, here's one that I feel strongly about

- Turn getting on and off stage into a military operation, especially on multi band bills. Learn how to stack your gear backstage so that it's a) not in everyone else's way and b) accessible in the order you want to get to stuff. When it's your turn to get on stage, learn how to do it fucking fast. If someone has a simple set up, they should help the drummer when they've sorted themselves out. Under no circumstances should band-related people be milling about looking lost and confused.

After your set, don't wonder round chatting to people. Finish the last song, take a bow, say thanks, and IMMEDIATELY move out. Get your gear off stage before you start wrapping cables neatly etc. The first objective is to clear the stage. Once you're out of the way of the next band you can start to chat to the fans.

Having done some festival stage managing myself, I couldn't agree more with this!

mike_l · March 2014

Make sure you have a piss/dump/last smoke etc well before you're due on stage, not 1 minute to go.

Fresh batteries in anything that needs them.

Know what you're playing - but that should be sorted well in advance, unless it's a jam night.

Don't get drunk before/during your stage time.

bobblehat · March 2014

Make sure everyone has a copy of the set list.

Do not put your pint on top of your amp/speakers.

Only get drunk if all members of the band are getting drunk!

Finish with your best song.Do not be tempted to have a go at the new song that you have only rehearsed once just because the audience are asking for one more.One more is never enough so finish on a high.

bigjon · March 2014

Have a setup with two of everything- guitars, amps (or preamp to go into PA), essential FX, in case something breaks mid gig

MikkiMcMurderer · March 2014

1. No farting on stage forcing your band members to stand in your stench and inhaling your anal vapour to sing with! Void your bowels before the set!

2. Never allow an audience member to come on stage to "play / sing one song" - they will most likely be awful and possibly trash your equipment. All they want to do is show off and attempt to out do the band member they think they're better than.

3. Every band member pitches in equally with set up and tear down no matter how little or how much gear they individually are using.

David5150 · March 2014

Be confident - make eye contact with the audience

IF you make a mistake don't stop - make something up or breathe and keep going

Have a setlist printed in a font size that you can actually see

This one is just for me - have electric cigarette to hand for those 'need a fix' moments

Endless bottles of warer and/or lucozade sport nearby and drink them

Give the old hands a shake often to avoid getting cramp

Dont crank the amp up half way through the set - it's not getting quieter - your ears are just getting fatigued

Try and make a barrier between band and punters with monitors - stops lunatics lurching towards you to smash mic stand and mic into ones gob

Smile - this is fun.

Big beer afterwards

maltingsaudio · March 2014

Get the soundman a cup of tea or coffee far more welcome than beer especially on festivals

mudslide73 · March 2014

not_the_dj said:

Do not discuss breaking strings on an internet forum....guess what happened on Sat @RocknRollDave...

My LP's neck didn't fly off @handsome_chris . I was genuinely bricking it thinking something was going to happen..

1. Don't take offence at punters who finish off "1,2" with any kind of witty comment.

2. Don't put any liquid in containers on the floor.

3. Bring a spare everything because if you don't something will fail.

viz · March 2014

Dry sherry before, an amontillado or oloroso during, and a cream afterwards.

IanSavage · March 2014

Assume that the sound engineer has no 'spare' anything; he/she is not there to provide you with batteries, screwdrivers, cables, strings, cigarettes, lubricant, avacados, marsupials or geostationary satellite co-oridinates. He/she is there to mix the sound; carry your own bloody spares.

Danny1969 · March 2014

Drink water between beers if your singing as you need to keep yourself hydrated.

Don't just stand there and play, you gotta move and be committed, if your not into it then don't expect the punters to be

Stash guitar cases and covers behind the amps if poss ... it's less hassle than retrieving them from the van \ car at the end of the gig

Handsome_Chris · March 2014

octatonic said:

No vocalists screaming "Thankyou Droitwich" (or wherever you are) in a 'metal voice' unless you are actually in Steel Panther.

Is that because you think good manners are a thing of the past? I like to know if the audience is prepared for their musical entertainment by asking "Aylesbury, are you ready to rock?".

Handsome_Chris · March 2014

@mudslide, I'm glad that your LP didn't have a catastrophic failure. I'm very much of the spare everything to the point where I have a spare preamp and poweramp.

mudslide73 · March 2014

Handsome_Chris;197192" said:
@mudslide, I'm glad that your LP didn't have a catastrophic failure..

My LP has had one catastrophic failure.. being bought and owned by me. I'm sure it would have been happier at someone else's house for all these years.

4. Don't stand anywhere near a door if the outside temp is much below room temp. We did a December gig in a marquee and ended up turning the stage heating off to stabilise our tuning. Brass monkeys doesn't cover it.

5. Don't play at all if your "percussionist" has been drinking for 6 hours. The songs tend to go a little quicker than you're used to.

6. Don't let anyone's missus come to the soundcheck if you want to get a good sound.

dilbert · March 2014

IanSavage said:

Assume that the sound engineer has no 'spare' anything; he/she is not there to provide you with batteries, screwdrivers, cables, strings, cigarettes, lubricant, avacados, marsupials or geostationary satellite co-oridinates. He/she is there to mix the sound; carry your own bloody spares.

You forgot to add condoms to the list........... I do know of at least one who was asked :-\"

ThePrettyDamned · March 2014

Be thankful.

I say that as an audience member - it might not suit the band image, but get over it and thank your audience for listening. Even if it's just a local battle of the bands, your punters have paid to come in, and you should appreciate it.

Doesn't need to be in a cheesey metal voice or anything, just a nice thanks for listening, see you around is great.

ThePrettyDamned · March 2014

Did NOT mean to post that vid, will edit out.!

frankus · March 2014

Don't quote Will Ferrell lines - noone ever remembers them.

Smile

Breath

Look at the audience.

Move.

maltingsaudio · March 2014

IanSavage said:

Assume that the sound engineer has no 'spare' anything; he/she is not there to provide you with batteries, screwdrivers, cables, strings, cigarettes, lubricant, avacados, marsupials or geostationary satellite co-oridinates. He/she is there to mix the sound; carry your own bloody spares.

Amen to that Bro! Good stage crew are adept at grabbing victory from the jaws of defeat but there are limits! BTW you forgot bring your own Gaffa, Drum Stool sticks, mat, sustain pedal, Plectrums (that was just saturdays gig!)

ESBlonde · March 2014

frankus said:

Don't quote Will Ferrell lines - noone ever remembers them.

Who's Will Ferrell?

Spikeedog · March 2014

I forget...

monquixote · March 2014

Having been in lots of bands and booked gigs for a venue my personal list would be:

Have some spares and a plan for things to go tits up. (For example an acoustic number you do if the drummer puts a stick through his snare)

If you have a soundman be nice to him (unless he is a total helmet). This will pay great dividends.

If you are someone with minimal gear you should help set up and tear down the PA rather than show up only from 5 minutes before to 5 minutes after.

Don't have massive gaps between songs.

Do not pretend to be Liam Gallagher (even if you are). If you act like a cock then people won't book you again.

It's not selling out to dress up, or try and perform. That doesn't mean jumping around in spandex pants just not staring at your feet looking like you don't want to be there.

If your singer talks to the crowd make sure it's not just in jokey stuff to his mates (I've seen an A&R man walk out of a gig because of this)

Don't be crushingly loud

steamabacus · March 2014

monquixote said:

Have some spares and a plan for things to go tits up. (For example an acoustic number you do if the drummer puts a stick through his snare)

I know Pagannini used to practice a piece on 3 strings and then file through one so that it would 'unexpectedly' break mid-performance - he'd then amaze his audience by finishing the piece flawlessly as if nothing had happened. But.......

I think what you meant was 'and a plan if things go tits up'.

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REAL Rules For Playing Live...?

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