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Another thing I found is that the mistakes feel worse on the inside. I once got to watch a vid of me doing a performance that I thought had been full of glaring mistakes, pauses etc. From the outside it didn’t look half as bad.
- practice the end of songs first/more than the rest. That way you'll know there's a confident ending you're heading towards even if things go bad.
- try simulating the tension by filming yourself solo practicing too
As for my open mic nightmare, on backing vocals and guitar in a duo, nicely rehearsed, then got too inebriated. Guitar fine, vocals *very* not. Didn't do that again!
Nerves are natural. The best way to get over them is by having successful performances under your belt: “Come on, I know I can do this! Last week I played great!” kind of thing.
Roll with it, get back on the horse.
"If it smells like shit...It is probably shit"
Now I recognise that time is finite and your nerves play a part but being prepared gives you just enough confidence to know you can and that will carry you through. For reference I’m an old fart with decades of gigging behind me but recently a local pub run by family started OM so I felt obliged to support it. I was nervous and glad when I’d done my 3 numbers and it all went well, nerves are quite normal.
With that in mind, just have a go, relax and enjoy the experience.
I've only done one, plan to do another sometime this year. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect, but now I do know and definitely won't be so nervous again. If nobody likes it then tough shit, I did it to do my bit for entertaining folks and if it's laughed out of the pub then that's ok too. We all have to learn to laugh at ourselves a bit and not beat ourselves up so much.
I remember many years ago going with a girlfriend to a local music bar hopping to see whatever band was there but discovered it was open mic instead. I got talked into having a go after a few drinks even though I hadn't played guitar in ages. As everyone else was doing serious Radiohead covers, and there were some brilliant performers, I took the opposite approach. After a tongue in cheek moody John Lewis advert version of You Shook Me All Night Long, all the musos in the crowd were happily singing along to Back For Good by Take That complete with my own backing vocals while struggling not to laugh. I got asked back up a couple more times that night. IIRC I finished the night with a chaotic version of It's The End Of The World As We Know It when someone suggested I do an R.E.M. song including the ad-libed final lyric of "it's the end of the song as we know it and I feel drunk". I would usually play and sing much better than I did but I blagged it by entertaining.
The other thing I would usually try to do is jam something on the night with someone I've never met before. It can be a hit or a total trainwreck but teaches you so many skills.
I always try to put the emphasis on having fun and taking a risk. The audiences are always more forgiving and you've just got to commit when you feel so much more exposed than behind the security of a band.
was the worst advice I had
Thanks to everyone and their encouragement...
I made a point of finishing the 3 songs I went for... and everyone was supportive... I think I was just so tense (especially about singing full songs instead of just BVs) that it affected my playing. The singing turned out not so bad, my playing let me down which is what hurt... but I will be back, with a boatload more practice. Cheers all
"If it smells like shit...It is probably shit"
Being nervous is not just normal, it's universal - watch Paul McCartney play Glastonbury last summer. He brings on Dave Grohl and Bruce Springsteen, and even THEY are clearly shitting themselves. And they're not alone. There's a series on Disney Plus where Macca talks to Rick Rubin, and he tells a story about playing a solo once and he was so nervous he completely fucked it up, so he thought never again.
And like everyone else here, I feel your pain. The very first time I tried to play in front of an audience, at an acoustic club where they applauded literally everyone, I froze so badly I actually gave up. They even applauded me for having tried.
The only way through was to give it a few goes and then gradually get less and less nervous. Now I quite look forward to playing - but not to a pub full of punters, I'm not that good. I play at singarounds now, which are a different sort of open mics. I'm a lot better than I was, but I still fluff the occasional chord now and again, but the most encouraging thing that I've noticed is that even some of those who have been playing in public for years (and some of the guys who go are virtually semi-pro) also fluff things now and again.
So, basically, we've all done it and we all do it. Don't worry about it, just have another go and another and another...
identify a place/time where you played well and were happy, then mentally put yourself in that space deliberately and to order. After a while it becomes second nature.
It’s nice to get it right but, as previously mentioned, no-one’s really that bothered if you don’t.
On night I remember starting into my cover of Crossroads and for the life of me I could not find that first line - so I just stopped and said sorry I'll have to play something else.