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One thing I've found that improves the gigging experience is to embrace any tiny mistakes and remember that often even your own band mates won't remember them, never mind the audience. I used to find that I put pressure on myself not to make any mistakes. That really ate away at me during and after gigs and reduced enjoyment.
And definitely keep telling yourself that things will sound better FOH compared to what you hear onstage
Last gig I played I sang the same verse twice in the opening number. Nobody else noticed. Thankfully I silently laughed it off at the time and it didn't mess up the rest of the gig as that would definitely happened in the past
I do enjoy gigging, but I can totally understand people who don’t, especially if they’re doing it a lot and with music they don’t really like playing. I only gig a few times a year now, and I only play music I want to - actually all covers at the moment, but we’re not a “covers band” in the usual sense. I also take the minimum of gear (normally just my bass and a pedal) so I don’t have to drive, which takes away one of the things I never really enjoyed - being your own roadie.
"Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski
"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson
Pressure comes from doubt in your ability, but that changes after a certain amount of gigs and you start to feel more confident as you are less likely to make a mistake.
Biggest advice I would give anyone is learn your music street theory ... because it makes you less likely to make a mistake and if you do it will still be in key and not really noticeable to the punters.
I play mostly at home on my own now and it suits me and I enjoy it. Doing a writing project thing with two mates currently so it may transform to play those songs live one day, though I may just say I'll be a recording/writer guitarist now instead of a live one.
Also, at a recent gig we played Blackbird by Alterbridge which probably isn't that well played at a standard pub gig, and an old geezer with tats, earrings a hat, chains and full rocker outfit came up to listen and turned his head to the sky, closed his eyes and sang every word along with us, like it touched his soul. Ive never concentrated so hard not to make a mistake! . Moments like that are awesome and make gigging so enjoyable.
Don't worry about it.
Wurzel from Motorhead once admitted they were so loud that him and Phil Campbell got through half a world tour before they realised they were playing different final songs of the set.
He didn't say whether he or Phil were playing the correct tune with the other 2!
https://speakerimpedance.co.uk/?act=two_parallel&page=calculator
Just happy with it being a hobby that I really enjoy. Gigging seems like a different kettle of fish entirely. I used to record a lot and did a few collaborations which were fun but it could became a bit of a chore at times.
When I first thought I'd conquered stage fright, it coincided with me becoming a bit of a Diva. I soon realised the Diva behaviour was just the stage fright coming out in a different way. Realising that helped me move on.
Often when I hear about performers exhibiting "difficult" behaviour, I wonder if it's just sublimated stage fright.....