Things you like to hear from control when you're on your way to a job

VimFuego · September 2023

Not top of the list would be "We need you to stop where safe and await instructions to RV with Thames Valley police, where you'll be escorted to the job site". Turns out it was a stabbing at a travellers site, possibly a cardiac arrest as well. When we got to the RV point we were met with a plodmobile, an ambulance car and we were waiting for am ambulance team leader. When they got there we went in fast convoy to the job (well I say we went as we were soon left behind by the cars, a double crew ambulance is not exactly fast or nippy). I confess I may have hummed "the ride of the valkyries" as we were bombing along. When we got there we were met with armed police and all that stuff, very exciting!!!
Job itself turned out to be a bit of a damp squib, one male 30's had 3 stab wounds to the belly, he refused to say how he'd got them and no one there was gonna inflame things by pushing the point, I suspect justice will be meted out "in house". They'd stopped bleeding but the time we got there so patched him up and advised we take him to A&E, which he stone cold refused.
So that was a bit different from your average office job.

Sporky · September 2023

We've had some serious drama in the office over the years, mind. Codename throughout.

G-dog telling Hyacinth "do not put your hands on me, woman!" after a disagreement on the correct position of their desk divider. Duck shouting "IT'S ONLY MILK!" at Grabby Claire over a forty-minute debate on whether our daily dairy order was excessive, vs the turmoil that would arise from running short. Donald taking Lady Skeletor to one side and telling her to remain at least two arms-lengths from me at all times.

Hmm. To be fair, yours does sound more exciting and worthwhile.

ArchtopDave · September 2023

A long time ago, when I was an A&E SHO at a hospital in the South West of England, two rather stressed Ambulancemen brought a patient in. They explained that they were the first people to reach the address and made the decision to go in, having received an emergency call from a neighbour who had heard a gunshot next door.
What fortunately unfurled was a rather sorry tale. The injured man, that they brought in, was fed up with the length of time he'd been on the waiting list for a sex change operation, and had decided to do a "bit of DIY". He'd put a shotgun cartridge between two bricks, and attempted to shoot his own genitalia off. He missed, and the pellets, that were in him, were relatively harmlessly embedded in the top of his thigh.

tekbow · September 2023

Rigs?

Actual abandonment, not a drill, which we only found out once we were outside.

Foggy as all hell and a yacht was headed straight for the rig on collision course.

Managed To waved it off in the end. Just as well for them because they'd have had pissed off rig crew, woken up halfway through the off shift, dropping onto their deck.

Another time during a safety meeting we had a toolpusher tell us to make sure we knew were the emergency survival suits were because "we'd all end up in the water at some point in our career".

I managed to avoid that.

BillDL · September 2023

Was that cheeky faced Brad Pitt there keeping the savage dogs and people under control so you could attend to the patient? I wonder if the assailant was John-Paul and it was something to do with Kathleen's bike?

hollywoodrox · September 2023

https://youtu.be/tGwYPd6ajTk?si=kZWMUdUp_PsJnpB8

skullfunkerry · September 2023

Sporky said:

We've had some serious drama in the office over the years, mind. Codename throughout.

G-dog telling Hyacinth "do not put your hands on me, woman!" after a disagreement on the correct position of their desk divider. Duck shouting "IT'S ONLY MILK!" at Grabby Claire over a forty-minute debate on whether our daily dairy order was excessive, vs the turmoil that would arise from running short. Donald taking Lady Skeletor to one side and telling her to remain at least two arms-lengths from me at all times.

Hmm. To be fair, yours does sound more exciting and worthwhile.

One of my colleagues once started to tell me in a hushed voice “I had a meeting with you-know-who today. He mentioned she-who-shall-not-be-named, you know that thing the other day? Well apparently “they” know about it, and that man is going to take it further, so you-know-who is…” at which point I had to tell her that I had literally no clue who or what she was talking about

Brio · September 2023

Sat on the tarmac at Luton about to switch the phone to airplane mode when I get a call.
"When you get to Dalaman just wait at the airport, we are trying to get you back tonight as we need you as a witness in court in the morning..."

Dontgiveupyourdayjob · September 2023

VimFuego said:

Not top of the list would be "We need you to stop where safe and await instructions to RV with Thames Valley police, where you'll be escorted to the job site". Turns out it was a stabbing at a travellers site, possibly a cardiac arrest as well. When we got to the RV point we were met with a plodmobile, an ambulance car and we were waiting for am ambulance team leader. When they got there we went in fast convoy to the job (well I say we went as we were soon left behind by the cars, a double crew ambulance is not exactly fast or nippy). I confess I may have hummed "the ride of the valkyries" as we were bombing along. When we got there we were met with armed police and all that stuff, very exciting!!!
Job itself turned out to be a bit of a damp squib, one male 30's had 3 stab wounds to the belly, he refused to say how he'd got them and no one there was gonna inflame things by pushing the point, I suspect justice will be meted out "in house". They'd stopped bleeding but the time we got there so patched him up and advised we take him to A&E, which he stone cold refused.
So that was a bit different from your average office job.

Coming at this from the other side of the equation, it's amazing sometimes the 'disconnect' between what callers tell us in control and what transpires to be the real state of affairs when crews get on scene.

If I had a quid for the number of times callers make out that the scene is like a bloodbath/crime of the century, and then we see the notes from crews on scene like "minor, superficial flesh wound, treated and discharged on scene."

Of course, sometimes it's the opposite way round.....

Wazmeister · September 2023

"... you're coffee and bacon sarnie is waiting..."

Boromedic · September 2023

VimFuego said:

Not top of the list would be "We need you to stop where safe and await instructions to RV with Thames Valley police, where you'll be escorted to the job site". Turns out it was a stabbing at a travellers site, possibly a cardiac arrest as well. When we got to the RV point we were met with a plodmobile, an ambulance car and we were waiting for am ambulance team leader. When they got there we went in fast convoy to the job (well I say we went as we were soon left behind by the cars, a double crew ambulance is not exactly fast or nippy). I confess I may have hummed "the ride of the valkyries" as we were bombing along. When we got there we were met with armed police and all that stuff, very exciting!!!
Job itself turned out to be a bit of a damp squib, one male 30's had 3 stab wounds to the belly, he refused to say how he'd got them and no one there was gonna inflame things by pushing the point, I suspect justice will be meted out "in house". They'd stopped bleeding but the time we got there so patched him up and advised we take him to A&E, which he stone cold refused.
So that was a bit different from your average office job.

You jumped up to ECA now mate? Nice one, hope you're enjoying it and not letting the incessant moaners drag you down. Never a dull day eh?!

Boromedic · September 2023

Dontgiveupyourdayjob said:

VimFuego said:

Not top of the list would be "We need you to stop where safe and await instructions to RV with Thames Valley police, where you'll be escorted to the job site". Turns out it was a stabbing at a travellers site, possibly a cardiac arrest as well. When we got to the RV point we were met with a plodmobile, an ambulance car and we were waiting for am ambulance team leader. When they got there we went in fast convoy to the job (well I say we went as we were soon left behind by the cars, a double crew ambulance is not exactly fast or nippy). I confess I may have hummed "the ride of the valkyries" as we were bombing along. When we got there we were met with armed police and all that stuff, very exciting!!!
Job itself turned out to be a bit of a damp squib, one male 30's had 3 stab wounds to the belly, he refused to say how he'd got them and no one there was gonna inflame things by pushing the point, I suspect justice will be meted out "in house". They'd stopped bleeding but the time we got there so patched him up and advised we take him to A&E, which he stone cold refused.
So that was a bit different from your average office job.

Coming at this from the other side of the equation, it's amazing sometimes the 'disconnect' between what callers tell us in control and what transpires to be the real state of affairs when crews get on scene.

If I had a quid for the number of times callers make out that the scene is like a bloodbath/crime of the century, and then we see the notes from crews on scene like "minor, superficial flesh wound, treated and discharged on scene."

Of course, sometimes it's the opposite way round.....

Well I never, I never knew you worked in Mordor.....

Jetfire · September 2023

Dontgiveupyourdayjob said:

VimFuego said:

Not top of the list would be "We need you to stop where safe and await instructions to RV with Thames Valley police, where you'll be escorted to the job site". Turns out it was a stabbing at a travellers site, possibly a cardiac arrest as well. When we got to the RV point we were met with a plodmobile, an ambulance car and we were waiting for am ambulance team leader. When they got there we went in fast convoy to the job (well I say we went as we were soon left behind by the cars, a double crew ambulance is not exactly fast or nippy). I confess I may have hummed "the ride of the valkyries" as we were bombing along. When we got there we were met with armed police and all that stuff, very exciting!!!
Job itself turned out to be a bit of a damp squib, one male 30's had 3 stab wounds to the belly, he refused to say how he'd got them and no one there was gonna inflame things by pushing the point, I suspect justice will be meted out "in house". They'd stopped bleeding but the time we got there so patched him up and advised we take him to A&E, which he stone cold refused.
So that was a bit different from your average office job.

Coming at this from the other side of the equation, it's amazing sometimes the 'disconnect' between what callers tell us in control and what transpires to be the real state of affairs when crews get on scene.

If I had a quid for the number of times callers make out that the scene is like a bloodbath/crime of the century, and then we see the notes from crews on scene like "minor, superficial flesh wound, treated and discharged on scene."

Of course, sometimes it's the opposite way round.....

I totally agree with this, I have been in your shoes and its... interesting!!

westford · September 2023

You weren’t called out to this one then?

https://news.sky.com/story/amp/lincolnshire-police-storm-yoga-class-after-people-lying-on-floor-mistaken-for-mass-killing-12956788

Dominic · September 2023

BillDL said:

Was that cheeky faced Brad Pitt there keeping the savage dogs and people under control so you could attend to the patient? I wonder if the assailant was John-Paul and it was something to do with Kathleen's bike?

They're just something else
........they all got into Oxford and Cambridge except the one in Orange ......he went to LSE

Dominic · September 2023

From base ......
'Thunderbirds are Go ......FAB '

Emp_Fab · September 2023

Leave me out of this.

Axe_meister · September 2023

Whilst driving to the station to go to work for one of the UK police forces (was working on their IT systems).
Got a call their payroll system was down, so please hurry.
Put my foot down and got stopped by the plod for speeding.
Explained their payroll system was down, they said pull the other one, so I told them to talk to officer XYZ.
Next thing I know I get a police escort, with a police driver driving my car.
Took me two mins to fix the issue.

BillDL · September 2023

Axe_meister said:

Took me two mins to fix the issue.

The cleaner had unplugged the server to plug in ther floor scrubber?

I am led to believe that they sometimes blue light it to get to the Chinese takeaway before it closes.

Dominic · September 2023

There's a very good Turkish restaurant on Golders Green High Road that has a take-away section counter next to the Mangal
It's a Police favourite and very often there will be up to a dozen of them queued at the counter .
Numerous times I've been passed by Police vehicles on blues further back on the North circular or the other end of the High road in Hendon only to see the same vehicle 5 minutes later parked outside the restaurant
.......it must be all those dine and dash customers !

ICBM · September 2023

BillDL said:

I am led to believe that they sometimes blue light it to get to the Chinese takeaway before it closes.

I used to live opposite a chip shop, and the number of times a fire engine turned up with the blue lights on and parked on the double yellows outside just before closing time was remarkable. They must have had a constant problem with setting fire to things when they were cleaning up in that place…

Axe_meister · September 2023

BillDL said:

Axe_meister said:

Took me two mins to fix the issue.

The cleaner had unplugged the server to plug in ther floor scrubber?

I am led to believe that they sometimes blue light it to get to the Chinese takeaway before it closes.

Someone had put the wrong tape in the backup machine so it couldn't backup up the database logs so the log archive directory filled up.

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Things you like to hear from control when you're on your way to a job

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My head said brake, but my heart cried never.

My head said brake, but my heart cried never.